Merry Christmas, everyone! I’m going to try to take the day off, and I do say try, because everytime I turn around, it seems like something else is happening. While you’re sipping your egg nog and vodka and roasting over an open fire, I have a few gifts for you to unwrap, some little bits of stupidity from this past week.

• On Friday, a New York court gave Jose Luis Espinal, 42, of Washington Heights, the Christmas gift he wanted: his name changed to Jesus Christ. Asked why he wanted that name, he said, “This was not done for any reason other than I am that person. You’re dealing with the real deal.” The judge cited a 2001 case in Utah where a man changed his name to Santa Claus, and apparently the “Jesus Christ” living in Washington, D.C., didn’t object.
• Do people have the right to live under the same roof? Not in Michigan. The state is one of the few which still prohibit cohabitation, and one person who’s pissed off about it is taking the matter to the state Supreme Court. “There are other Michigan Court of Appeals opinions that contradict what the Court of Appeals did in this case. So the law in this state says that the courts can’t rely on the cohabitation statute to deny partners visitation rights,” said the lawyer handling the case.
• Ohio Republican Ken Blackwell, who I told you nearly a year ago would be running for governor, is stealing slogans from the Libertarian Party’s candidate, Bill Peirce. “I believe that government should give people the freedom to prosper,” said a recent e-mail from Blackwell’s campaign. As secretary of state, Blackwell boasted of “delivering” the 2004 election to George W. Bush.