Duct and Cover Reggie Miles © 2006

The threat of war is loomin’,
Anthrax bombs may soon be zoomin’,
To your bedrooms in the suburbs but don’t despair.

From deep within his mountain bunker,
Where Gee Dubbya’s gonna hunker,
A solution to our dilemma he’s sure to share.

Our best scientific minds,
Were charged to seek and find,
An all American answer to our plight,

And with the billions spent,
On defense research by government,
They finally discovered one that works just right.

Yes they’ve found it girls and boys.
Protection from those evil toys,
Affordable and available throughout the land,

Yankee ingenuity,
Has triumphed once again you see,
Providing safety to every woman, child, and man.

And what miracle is this,
That secures our freedom bliss,
And ensures all our blessed liberties?

What treasure is it, made by man,
That can do, what no other can,
This creation of our modern techno-lull-ogies?

It’s the simplest things they say,
That can always save the day,
And it’s oh so very true in this case too.

You needn’t build a big bomb shelter,
You can avoid the helter skelter.
Listen closely here is what they say to do.

Just duct tape and cover your windows and your door,
With plastic sheeting you can buy at any hardware store.

It’s an easy thing to do no matter if you’re rich or poor,
And much cleaner than crawling ‘neath your desk down on all four.

It’s a lesson we’ve all learned in school, fifty years ago.
When we feared that the idea of droppin’ A-bombs would grow.

They’ve changed the words to suit our times.
Yesterday’s duck and cover rhymes.
Are now just duct tape and cover instead.

It kind of makes you wonder,
Why Gee Dubbya’s way down under,
Neath the mountain in his little hidy hole.

When all he needs to do,
Is just follow me or you,
To buy some plastic sheeting and some duct tape by the roll.

Then he could duct tape and cover the Whitehouse windows and door,
With plastic easily bought from any hardware store.

No need to kiss his ass goodbye,
When missiles fall down from the sky,
When he can duct tape and cover instead.

They’ve changed the words to suit our times.
Yesterday’s duck and cover rhymes.
Are now just duct tape and cover instead.

The old duck and cover method taught is schools in the past protects children from the initial danger of a nuclear attack of flying debris, and is not meant to protect you from radiation. Just like Stop, Drop, and Roll protect you if you are on fire, but remaining in a burning building and continuing to roll will not protect you. You deal will the immediate danger and then do something else to handle the other dangers.

tony

My question is how to get out? I mean you will need food, water or sanitation. You could seal yourself into your bathroom…that solves water and sanition but you still need to stock your bath tub with food.

Another thing…how do you get air? I mean fresh air with oxygen…that stuff you need multiple times per minute. Maybe it comes trough the walls (wood)….but hey…then those airborne terrorist bacteria too.

Maybe we just take some plastic bags, put them over our head and seal them with duct tape around our necks. This protects from airborne hazards while maintaining high mobility. You should suggest that to your local congressman or whoever is responsible for the idiotic duct tape idea.