This is part of an email I received when I ask to be unsubscribed from a DOD email list. I am dumber for having read it.

“1. You could be subscribed under a different, but equivalent address. For instance, if your e-mail address as it appears in the ‘From:’ line of messages coming from you has the misfortune of depending on the distance between your workstation and the terminal room door, you were probably subscribed from a different address and, while your mail system knows that the two addresses are equivalent, LISTSERV has no way to know that.
In this case the only thing you can do, beyond contacting the list owner, is to send a “REVIEW DODTODAY-L” command to find out under what address you are subscribed, and try to duplicate it with the help of your user support people.”

Mailing a letter to a constituent: 39¢
Paying the staff person who writes letters for you: $50K
Reading the letter you supposedly wrote before signing it to be sure that it’s profanity-free…