If you’ve been a long time reader around here, you know that I spend my days pointing out all the problems caused by our government, and the devastating toll they take on all of our lives. I don’t always point out the solutions, though. So today I’m going to propose some solutions.
The problems are vast and enormous. Every government bureaucracy seems to do something other than what its name would suggest.
So I’m proposing the largest rearranging of the bureaucratic deck chairs in history:
Replace the Department of Homeland Security with a Department of Terrorism, which has as its purpose to cause everyone to live in abject fear of everything, up to and including their own shadows.
Replace the Department of Education with a Department of Stupidity, which has as its purpose to eradicate modern science, literature, art, education, and the ability of any person to think and learn.
Replace the Department of Commerce with a Department of Central Planning, which has as its purpose to ensure that the economy is rigorously controlled and that there are always shortages of anything that people might want.
Replace the Department of Health and Human Services with a Department of Human Misery, which has as its purpose to ensure that everyone is physically sick, mentally ill, or both.
Replace the Department of Labor with a Department of Social Progress, which has as its purpose to redistribute wealth, from each according to his ability, and to each according to his need.
Replace the Department of Agriculture with a Department of Poverty, which has as its purpose to ensure that everyone lives in the poorest possible conditions.
Replace the Department of Justice with a Department of Oppression, which has as its purpose to ensure that no person fails to feel the jackboot stamping on his face.
Replace the Supreme Court with a Kangaroo Court, which intends to ensure that no person may ever find justice, especially when aggrieved by the government.
These reforms could be achieved quite easily and would dramatically improve the quality of life for everyone.
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Gardner Goldsmith reveals many of the myths and lies behind Barack Obama's push for medical fascism. Then, he reveals the shocking attitude of Tom Brokaw, who believes government health plans are good, and that those very same medical plans should restrict expenditures on "the elderly."
The census -- like so many government programs -- has grown far beyond what the framers of our Constitution intended. The invasive nature of the current census raises serious questions about how and why government will use the collected information. It also demonstrates how the federal bureaucracy consistently encourages citizens to think of themselves in terms of groups, rather than as individual Americans.
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Tony
Apr 30, 2006
Doesn’t look like much would change, really.
Apr 30, 2006
Hammer of Truth » Humorous Take on Departmental Names
Dan
May 01, 2006
It actually appears that much of what you’re proposing has come to pass under the Bush regime. DHS is used to terrorize the American populace, primarily for political gain of the current regime. The “No Child Left Behind” has essentially gutted any chance for a diverse and well-rounded education for most children. The Department of Justice has become a vicious weapon for the Bush fascists to use. As for commerce, price gas lately… The USDA has basically wiped out any chance of most small to medium sized independent farms from surviving. I think the elections in 2000 and 2004 have proven the court to be a marsupial already….the addition of Alito and Roberts has merely made it a larger, better kangaroo.
Jun
May 01, 2006
As long as governments are run by people who are by nature imperfect, we could never have a perfect government. Thus, your suggestions are “almost” perfect but you left out the most important factor: Bugs Bunny for president.
Oppressed by Bush
May 02, 2006
People are capable of incredible dedication and accomplishment, but not without a compelling set of reasons to reach such goals. Perhaps if the citizens of each state were allowed to vote-out any government representative and/or officials, for failure to perform their duties, as depicted by the Constitution, every 6 to 12 months, followed by an immediate initiation of independent (not internal) investigations for possible corruption, they might be compelled to serve in excellence.
My guess is, those who are looking for a “free ride†or a “Wow! It would be so cool if I was President!†would not want to join any rank of government under such pressure to perform their duties. To make things even more difficult for them, force them all to take a mandatory-competency test(preferably written and given-out every year, to weed out the creepy ones)–as I fear that most of them have to much money and can’t be bothered to understand that our Country is no longer the land of freedom and opportunity, and that we are all going broke.
It may sound cruel, but do companies seek to hire untrained or unqualified people, or do they test them and check their backgrounds first? Then why should we employ, into government, a bunch of corrupt, technology-challenged, sometimes fanatical and/or senile rich brats who can’t or won’t keep up with the times?
After breaching nearly all the Constitutional safeguards, put in place to prevent the fate of doomed civilizations, the now penniless US Government is conducting a vaporous expansion of ever alarming rates, seeking to correct its own deficiencies, with no end in site. Hence, the road to Fascism has now almost fully paved.
_________________________________________________
O mother of our universe
Come down to hear our cry
Our country’s leaders falter
Its citizens disappear and die
Our lust for OIL entombs us
The powers of greed divide
Take not thy Liberty from us
But save us from our lies
Michael Hampton
May 02, 2006
Now what are you going to do about it?
May 02, 2006
Searchlight Crusade
Oppressed by Bush
May 02, 2006
Honestly Michael, there is little that I can do. I’m just one tiny mosquito in a distant pond.