Homeland Security Architect?

As previously reported, computer security at the Department of Homeland Security sucks. I mean really sucks. (It sucks government-wide, but it’s particularly ironic that it sucks at DHS.) And there’s no end in sight to the sheer stupidity of how DHS’s IT infrastructure is being mismanaged.

I offer for your consideration: DHS is hiring Security Architects to help it build its next generation IT infrastructure, OneNetwork, keep its legacy systems running, and at least make a show of trying to keep hackers out. (Oh, and it has an idiot for a webmaster.)

You don’t want this job. Wired reporter Kevin Poulsen explains why: “An experienced computer security professional I know recently interviewed for a position at the Department of Homeland Security.” The interview, conducted by telephone, went rather poorly, with the DHS interviewer asking bizarre questions such as: “How do you feel about port 80?” and “What would you do if you were asked to testify before Congress?”

To his credit, the unnamed computer security professional spotted the stupidity quickly and gave some really funny answers. For example: “It’s better than port 23, but not as good as port 666.” And testifying before Congress, for the win: “Wear an ill-fitting suit and lie through my teeth so I wouldn’t stand out.”

I guess after losing their chief human capital officer, K. Gregg Prillaman, morale at DHS hasn’t really improved, or the interviewer might have laughed.

I’m not going to bother linking to the job opening, because nobody should have to go through that.