“We have a serious problem in this country,” says security expert Bruce Schneier, who gets a hat tip for this week’s TSA Follies. “The TSA operates above, and outside, the law. There’s no due process, no judicial review, no appeal.”

Nor, it seems, is there any intelligence, or even plain old common sense. But if we’re lucky, we can have a good laugh.

An airport worker based in Alaska was arrested at an airport near Los Angeles, Calif., for trying to bring a rubber band ball through a TSA checkpoint. Screeners couldn’t figure out how to tell whether there was metal at the core of the ball, which appeared opaque on the X-ray machine. Police arrested him on completely bogus charges of “suspicion of being under the influence of a controlled substance,” which of course he was not. He spent 12 hours in jail and the charges were quickly dropped after police realized their mistake.

Screeners at Boston’s Logan Airport recently had an impromptu intelligence test when a woman came through with a frozen jar of homemade tomato sauce. According to Salon.com’s Patrick Smith, who just happens to be the woman’s son, “‘He struck me as the type of person who spent most of his life traveling with the circus,’ says Mom, who never pulls a punch, ‘and was only vaguely familiar with the concept of refrigeration.’ Nonetheless, drawing from his experiences in grade-school chemistry and at the TSA academy, he sized things up. ‘It’s not a liquid right now,’ he observantly noted. ‘But it will be soon.’” She was eventually allowed to carry the sauce on board.

This isn’t strictly a TSA item, but be sure to check out SkyMaul, the in-flight product catalog you wish was in the seat back in front of you. You’ll be laughing so hard you’ll forget all about going through airport security. Just what did they do to me back there, and why is my butt so sore? Oh well. Stock up on Pepper Self-Spray, Camel Toe Eraser, Medical Test Result Fortune Cookies and more. Here’s a small sample (PDF) of the other hilarious products available from SkyMaul.

P.S. You can now bring on 3.4 ounce (100ml) containers of liquids in those silly clear plastic bags. This raise from the 3 ounce limit imposed earlier this year was apparently meant to harmonize the new TSA rules with the new European rules. Unfortunately, my 145g tube of Vegemite is still too big, though maybe it isn’t a liquid, since it’s measured in grams. . . .