Are you more afraid of airport security procedures than of terrorism? Do you think the Department of Homeland Security is out of their minds? If so, you aren’t alone. Here are three reports from recent air travelers of the lunacy they encountered at the airport security checkpoint.
Bret Fausett writes in to say that while traveling home with his five year old daughter after the holidays, TSA screeners at the Burbank, Calif., airport confiscated the Disney Princess Shimmering Lights Ariel Doll that she received as a present. Why on earth would heartless TSA screeners do such a thing? Because they thought it looked like toothpaste.
Try explaining to a 5-year old why the Ariel doll she received as a present has been confiscated by a government official.
I went over to a local Burbank police officer and asked if he could do something to help. He politely deferred to TSA, saying that airport security was “All TSA’s authority…And they’re nuts.” Amen. — Lextext
Wil Wheaton of Star Trek: The Next Generation fame has been traveling lately, too. He lost his nearly empty 3.2 ounce tube of toothpaste and his nearly empty 3.4 ounce tube of “hair goop” to that same TSA checkpoint in Burbank. He was so mad that his posting about the experience has profanity in virtually every paragraph.
But suffice it to say that like the rest of us, he’s sick and tired of “the outrageously stupid war on moisture” and if he hears one more “person tell me that I have to take off my shoes or give up some more privacy, or fall to my knees and worship George Bush so we don’t have ‘another 9/11′ I’m going to put three ounces of my foot right in their ass.”
Our favoriteWired reporter, Ryan Singel, has been traveling extensively this holiday season. And he has plenty of comments about stupid airport security procedures and a couple of helpful hints on getting through security a little faster.
I still love that screeners will search carry-ons for liquids — which “could be” a bomb — remove them from the bag and then throw them into a plastic trash bag a few feet away. Do they get hazard pay for this? And how do they dispose of the suspected bombs later? Do the janitors get hazard pay? — 27B Stroke 6
I’d like to remind everyone that the greatest threat you face while flying is not terrorism. It’s the federal government.
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Joe
Dec 29, 2006
I’ve been through the airport a couple of times in recent years. I check in advance what you can and can’t bring and do it. Never had a prob.
Michael Hampton
Dec 29, 2006
Joe, you aren’t really an average American, though, are you? :)
I must admit I do the same thing, but then again I’m not an average American either.
V
Dec 29, 2006
Just went through it today, actually. It was nice to them even the TSA workers realized what a farce this was.
Shoebomber failed because he was taken by force on the plane. The liquid bomb plot failed because someone turned them. What has the TSA caught?
Oh yeah, tooth paste, bottled water, and your grandmother’s sewing needle. Because if there really was a bona fide terrorist arrested at the security checkpoint, we’d be seeing news bulletins about how Bush’s increased security saved us from a second 9/11.
Bryan Price
Dec 30, 2006
I traveled on 9/10/2001 (finally getting home at way to early in the morning on 9/11, but that’s not my point).
The thoughts that I had that day?
Security was lax. I had managed to walk through a metal detector without setting it off, and I had forgotten something in one of my pockets. Then I thought of how many years it had been since we had had a hijacking in the US. It certainly made me feel good that while we had security, it was more for show than any actual threat.
That’ll show me for having those kinds of thoughts. My friend I had been staying with called me the next morning, making sure I had made it home alright. We watched CNN together when the second plane hit, and we both got off the phone and started calling our friends to let them know what was happening.
I’ve gone through airport security since. I’ve decided that I’m not flying unless I absolutely have to fly. Airport security is now nothing but theatrics. And I really wouldn’t want to be the person that has anything to do with it when the next terrorist act via airplanes happens, because it will go down like a house of cards.
Q
Dec 30, 2006
i second that — if it’s so dangerous why are they just tossing it into the trash, why aren’t they have someone come over with some high tech equipment to take a look at it, because they are FULL. OF. SHIT.
Ray
Dec 31, 2006
Sorry to inform you of this, but these guys (and gal;s) are indeed nuts.
I have had a number of things include two pens “stolen”. Why were the pens not allowed? You are going to love this —- Oh are you going to love this —-
I have a problem with my hands so I do better with a larger gripping surface. So I put those little foam things on my pens that make them about twice as big in diameter. That makes them a weapon.
I also have had someone on the secure side of the check point steal a friend’s lap top off of the end of the belt while they were double checking her person. (They say no but I suspect that her arab level pigmentation (not arab though) had a lot do do with this.) When I yelled and got a policeman on the other side of the check point guess what.
I was threatened with arrest if I didn’t stop disrupting security. The policeman was ordered to release the guy. At least they made him give back the computer after I yelled some more and they threatened me some more. Both the policeman and I were threatened with arrest if we didn’t stop interfering with federal officers.
That is our “improved”, “terrorist proof” TSA in action.
I second the comment about the trash container. Now none of the elements that they are throwing in there are dangerous by themselves. But many of them will be to some level flammable. Many others will put off very nasty gases when over heated. Have several of your supporters book a flight. Or better yet just make up boarding passes (remember the web site) and “forget” to get rid of your water (Gin would seem a logical actual material) and say as you get to the security side of things that “Oh I forgot just toss this for me”. Then one person triggers a time release combustion reaction and goes through the check point doing the same thing. Clear out, and wait for the fire works.
Do that with a full trash barrel and I bet it takes them a week to reopen the airport after the clean up.
Kim
Dec 31, 2006
I got into a verbal dust-up with a female TSA employee at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas a few months ago. I suggested that she was the undeserving beneficiary of a cosmetic, feel-good, federally funded jobs program for unemployables to confiscate toothpaste and lip gloss and otherwise needlessly hassle the traveling public. She threatened me with a strip search as retaliation for my insolence. I went balistic and forced her to summon her supervisor who became so frustrated with my ranting that he started to grab my arm. I pulled out my cell phone and informed the supervisor that if he manhandled me I would call the police and have him arrested for assault. Since we were outside the secure area, there was nothing he could do to stop my tirade. I have filed numerous complaints with the TSA about abuses such as this and have yet to receive a reply. I suppose the TSA, in addition to being idiotic is ignorant of common business courtesy as well.
Ray
Jan 01, 2007
Kim:
Is there any area where ignorance is not the first word that comes to mind in the TSA’s performance?
G
Jan 01, 2007
Recent TSA midadventures:
1) A TSA screener at the Orange County, California airport dropped my friends laptop, breaking the display. Apple would have charged her a little over $500 for the repair, so she bought a new laptop. Several months later, after writing several letters and filling out countless forms the TSA has done nothing to compensate her.
2) A TSA screener dropped my cell phone and stepped on it, rendering the phone useless. I was told the TSA assumes no liability for my personal property. I decided it would just be easier to eat the $50 fee for my cell phone provider to get me a new phone than try to get the TSA to do anything for me.
3) The TSA needs to make sure they are consistent from airport to airport. I put my cell phone in with my laptop when departing one airport and this was fine, but when I did it at another airport I was told in a very rude manner I could not do that.
My other primary comment about the TSA is that I would feel a little bit better about the whole security process if the screeners were at least polite. Which the exceptions of the screeners at the Laughlin, NV airport, I have never heard a screener say please or thank you or appologize when their additional screenings waste my precious time getting to the gate. Instead they just let their “authority” go to their head.
Jan 02, 2007
BLOGical Thoughts » Tuesday, 2 January, 2007
mike
Jan 23, 2007
While TSA may not be perfect, actually as of date they are perfect, you have to realize that with the number of people they employ, and the time frame that was given to hire all of these people there are going to be bad apples. You only remember the bad experiences. They are trying to do a job that is not fun, and everyone thinks of them as the enemy before the process ever starts. Look at the postings here. I travel every week, and I hardly ever have any trouble. As we complain about there mistreatment of us, remember how many unruley people that have to deal with everyday. Treat them with some respect, and you will be amazed!
rick
Mar 06, 2007
i was going thru a small airport and had a tsa agent grab my coat and magazine bag and never would look me in the face. he proceede to put a GUN in my back and i watched him. i asked what the hell are you doing and would not answe. the n proceed to put it in they grey bin and send it thru. i was pointed by another agent to walk thru. i was sweating like it was midnight express. this guy would not even look at me or wink. when i got thru they were at the screen and looking at me. i stood there and waited for ny coat and bag it came thru 3 min later and i asked what the hell was that and no one even would look at me! i went to the food place and sat there shaking. i was to scared prior to going thru to yell whats that gun. so like a idiot i let them do it. i have no training nor was i asked to participate in this so called exersize. i contacted someone and they said we dont do that but basicly to bad!
rick
Mar 06, 2007
last comment not BACK it was BAG
pilot1
Mar 18, 2007
I just want to say somethings. First, give us TSOs a little bit of credit. I know there are some TSOs that let the little power they have get to their head, but there are TSOs as my self that are qualified for the job and don’t let it get to our head. We preform our job as best we can and follow the rules and regs that sometimes do seem a bit stupid. I’ve been reading everyone’s comments on TSOs and they all say we are stupid, when indeed not all of us are. I personally have an education at the best aeronautical university in the world and hold a commercial pilot’s license. So I take my job very seriously. I work as a TSO part time and fly the other half of my day. I, like other TSOs, am not stupid. So give people like my self a bit of credit and some respect, because there are TSOs out there who give each and every passenger the respect that they deserve. Oh, and I believe I’m more than qualified to do what i am doing. Thanks for reading.
LW
Mar 29, 2007
I think that there probably are some awful people out there, butI also figure that they get so many instructions changing all the time that they can’t be consistant. Certainly acting like a horse’s ass won’t make them treat you better (Kim). The system doesn’t make it easy for TSA staff to be the perkiest, most client centered staff out there. That being said, I’ve seen TSA people try to force an old lady who could not walk to get out of her wheelchair and “walk” through the metal detector. Only threats of a riot from the passengers watching put a stop to that. What was going through their minds?
mike
Apr 01, 2007
I’m at Ft. Lauderdale airport. Go through Security. TSO “wands” me, wands me again, wands me again. Nothing in pockets, etc. He then asks to feel me crotch. No thank you. Since I said no, he then demands that I go to their “room” off to the side.
Go in room ready for stupidity. Women TSO in office eating lunch. Male TSO demands that I take my clothes off while he is putting on a rubber glove. I’m pretty open minded but I was not going to allow this to happen. TSO calls police. They threaten me with arrest. Go for it dude. You aren’t feeling up my ass unless you have a court order or unless the female TSO doesthe search. He didn’t think funny when I asked if he collects the used gloves. I think airport police have seen too much stupidity and told me to leave without taking my clothes off.
Linda
May 08, 2007
Does anyone know why we have to take off our shoes or have the body wand and frisking done? I thought the detectors you walk through could tell if you had metal in your shoes or on your person. I find no logic in people taking off rubber thongs and going barefoot-bacteria,fugus,virus skin infections. They even wand your feet without your shoes. It makes no since. I have foot problems so I wear custom orthotics and lace up shoes most of the time. I have to choose the humilating process of the frisking with many onlookers as it is difficult to remove my shoes while standing in a moving line. Seating is never provided unless you refuse to take off your shoes. I was waiting for a sale to start a few years ago, when I started to talk with a man who had resently retired from the state department. His comment about the airport changes was that the enemy had already won as they had caused permenant changes in how we live and effected some of our freedoms.
Princess
Nov 04, 2007
For the love of God. For all of you who keep complaining and whining….has a plane gone into another building or aimed head first into a vacant field? Our employees are not perfect, but then again neither are employees in any other organization, agency, or department that deals with human beings. Try being a TSO for a day…I dare you to take the abuse they take and still keep a smile on your face while some twit is whining and complaining why they have to give up their Starbucks. Look, TSO’s don’t write the rule, they only follow them. If you don’t like the fact you have to give up your liquids, empty your pockets and feel like you’re on a cattle call…then stay home. Try going to DMV, your local hardware store, the emergency room or any other place where other human beings exist and try to feel that you are special. Sorry to be the one to dim the lights, but you are not a princess…we, on occasion, have to put up with stuff we don’t like. But, seriously, before you complaint about what TSO’s do, I recommend you apply and become one. And a special note to Kim….princess go back home to la la land. I truly will give up some tax dollars to have you stay home.
Mr. Pizzedov
Dec 21, 2007
Talk about whining! You, Mr. or Ms. TSA, are the one who applied for your job. I didn’t force you to take it. Now, go back to hassling travelers.
About the shoes, this is just plain stupidity. I read on the Dept of Homeland Fear site that this “removing of shoes” requirement began in 2006 after the “fear” level went to Orange. This was years after that one bozo tried to blow up his Nikes on a plane, but couldn’t flick his Bic. Even if he set them off, all experts agree that there might have been some damage to the plane, but it wouldn’t have caused a crash.
I was pulled aside in Halifax Canada by US authorities prior to boarding a flight for a thorough search. Beats me why. It’s a good thing I wasn’t traveling with Senator Kennedy who was on the TSA’s no-fly list (!!!), or it might have been worse (he was stopped and questioned by the Airport Fear Factor agents 5 times in March 2004).
I have Allen Edmunds shoes Made In America that are guaranteed not to set off any alarm. They’re dress shoes with typically thin soles, and the only possible offensive weapon a terrorist could fit into them are 3-day-worn smelly socks. I was screamed at in Mobile AL when I told them they were airport-friendly shoes.
This is simply another way for the Department of Scare Mongering to keep you looking under your bed for Osama, and potentially re-electing Mr. Bush’s Republican Fear friends.
B-Boy
Jan 29, 2008
I don’t blame the TSA agents themselves (except of course the one’s who are rude and/or have let the power get to their heads), the new rules are STUPID. Especially the one about toothpaste, hair gel and deoderant. I mean come on, they can put you through that puff blower contraption and know if you’ve been making bombs, but they can’t run your tube of toothpaste through a machine to tell if it’s an explosive?
It’s absolutely ridiculous and stupid to be confiscating all these toiletry products when they should be using their resources much more effectively in other ways.
The problem is nobody in power has the balls to nix that rule. What if they nix it and somebody actually DOES blow up a plane with some hair gel or a Disney Princess Shimering Lights Ariel Doll(sp)? The public (us) will go crazy and demand that person’s head. Personally, I wouldn’t because I’d be happy that someone was bold enough to say let’s take our chances, but I’ve seen how the rest of the public (everybody except me) reacts to things like this.
I travel a lot, and my 6 oz tube of toothpaste usually makes it through security. This last time I traveled, I had a little bottle opener and it had a very small knife (kind of swiss army-ish, but not much of a knife at all). The knife made it through, but my toothpaste didn’t. I couldn’t believe it. The whole time I was worried the bottle opener wouldn’t make it through because I had just bought it and kind of liked it. I didn’t even realize it had a small knife when I bought it, but nevertheless, I was worried. And lo and behold, I lose my toothpaste in the name of improved safety, and get to keep my knife.
Bottom line is if the TSA’s rules let a knife through but not my toothpaste, we are in BIG, BIG trouble. What’s that thing they say about the lunatics running the asylum? Well, that applies here. And I hope somebody can grow a pair and change some of these rules that don’t increase security, but only increase wait times.