Festival planning sessions “led” by Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, and other luminaries at the Yippie House were chaotic and open to the dozens of crashers drifting in and out. Nothing like the war room strategy sessions imagined by fantasists on the right. Weird to see, four decades later, fantasists on the left spinning similar conspiracy theories about the masses of Tea Party protesters. Many of whom carry flags sporting rattlesnakes and the slogan “Don’t Tread On Me.”
Humor
Life, Inc: Tripping the Corporatism Fantastic with Douglas Rushkoff
Posted: September 1, 2009 11:30 am
Updated: September 2, 2009 5:38 pm
When reading the account of the Expo I had to put Life, Inc. down and check the cover. Had Random House sent me an advance copy of the wrong book? Was this Bonfire of the Vanities Redux? Or had Mark Twain or Jim Thompson risen from the dead to re-skewer American grift? Nope. There was the short sweet title Life, Inc. Followed by . . .
Nightmare on Election Street
Posted: October 31, 2008 1:21 pm
Updated: October 31, 2008 4:43 pm
Hit the road Halloween. For those who loathe politicians (count me in) there’s no more horrific time than the final days of a presidential race. Our flesh creeps as the last candidates standing (sort of) do the Transylvania Twist faster and faster, spinning their true (sort of) beliefs on a dime and contorting themselves into whatever position seems ripe for the moment.
The Big Bailout Circus
Posted: September 28, 2008 8:22 pm
The Big Bailout Circus has the nation in stitches. Taxpayers are being sewn into a skin-tight forever suit by an amazingly bipartisan group of government clowns. But despite the agreement about the need for a slap dash redo of the U.S. financial system — and by extension our political system — the designing bozos disagree about details. And none can resist an occasional hit of the rubber chicken . . .
Obama Parts the Sea, Cuomo Heeds the Community, Cynics March on DC
Posted: August 12, 2008 1:23 pm
Cynicism is a sin in the Age Of Hope. But cynics won’t go gently into the goody good night. . . .
Hillary’s White Wedding/Mortgage Fraud Rescue Wrap/Why Are We in Iraq
Posted: June 8, 2008 11:02 am
Back in April (it seems like an eon of Clinton ago!) FBI Director Robert Mueller gave a speech to the American Bar Association titled “Corporate Fraud and Public Corruption: Are We Becoming More Crooked?” The question was left open. Mueller wrapped up with a Teddy Roosevelt quote: “Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual, and of nations alike.”
Hillary’s Housing Fix in a New York Nutshell
Posted: March 30, 2008 11:57 am
“What are you working on today, Madam President?” asked Doctor Murchison.
“My plan to fix the housing crisis,” said Hillary, without looking up.
Obama and Ron Paul Take New York State, Tastee-Freeze Opens in Hell!
Posted: February 10, 2008 7:39 pm
Albany. The capital of New York. The heart of state government. Can’t you feel the rhythm of the beat? Lub dub lub dub. Pols who make it there, don’t need to go anywhere — they can stay in Albany forever and ever and ever. The governor’s mansion is akin to the hotel in “The Shining.” After taking over, the new guy always goes barmy. He doesn’t even have to live in it. Just throw an occasional reception.
FBI, CIA recruiting among terrorist sympathizers?
Posted: February 10, 2008 1:28 am
Are you an American terrorist sympathizer but don’t know how to strike back at the Great Satan? Afraid of getting arrested while your plot to blow up something or other is still half-baked? You don’t have to worry anymore. Now, the Federal Bureau of Investigation and Central Intelligence Agency want to hire you.
Stimulus Package Store, GSE Jumbo Out Back
Posted: January 30, 2008 12:59 am
Hot damn. The government is going to stimulate the economy. Not with a lap dance or lubricated love glove, but with taxpayer dollars. Come summer, Mister and Miz America will get a rebate from Uncle Sam. What a man! Some people will get more than a thou of their own money back. Consumers will rush out and pump the economy. Wal-Mart here we come. Simultaneously, just like in romance novels.
Hillary Clinton, The Shadow Party and Me
Posted: October 31, 2007 7:03 pm
Halloween 2009. A big night at Castle Clinton. Aka the White House. Even though Bill Clinton is the first black ex-president, his face glows phosphorescent. Bill is thrilled. President Hillary has raised him from the international dead zone to serve as co-host of her first Halloween bash. “The Shadow Party” has Washington abuzz. Anybody who is anybody is coming to the costume ball.
Welcome: Portraits of America
Posted: October 28, 2007 5:43 pm
Updated: October 28, 2007 11:11 pm
Since September 11, 2001, getting in to the U.S. as a foreign visitor has become a harrowing experience. So much so, in fact, that foreign tourism is down 17% as many tourists choose to spend their holidays elsewhere rather than be poked, prodded, searched, fingerprinted and verbally abused by U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents.
Not to fear, though; the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and Department of State have done something about it.
Poisoned jawbreakers: the next terrorist attack?
Posted: October 12, 2007 4:49 pm
Town aldermen in Dover, N.J., worried that terrorists could attack the town’s children by poisoning gumballs in coin-operated gumball machines, have launched an inspection of every machine they can find.
The Appalachian Summer of Eliot Spitzer
Posted: August 23, 2007 3:42 pm
You won’t believe how much fun the New York State political scene has been this Summer! Like Uncle Ira says, ain’t nothing more persistent than chicken thieves who’ve gotten used to easy pickins.
Pulp Fiction Iraq
Posted: June 29, 2007 6:04 pm
With a groan of pleasure akin to torment, George surged into the Fertile Crescent again and again.
You are the homegrown terrorist threat
Posted: May 13, 2007 11:26 pm
If you’re an American reading this, then under expansive definitions being used by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and several states in their counterterrorism training, you just might be a domestic terrorist.
Bureaucrat Appreciation Week
Posted: May 11, 2007 3:56 am
“Federal, State, and local governments are responsive, innovative, and effective because of the outstanding work of public servants.”
If you believe that, I’ve got some critical infrastructure to sell you. But Congress certainly seems to believe it, unless they’ve recently taken to passing satire off as Congressional resolutions.
Terrorist hoaxes can only get better?
Posted: May 9, 2007 12:07 am
Boston became the laughingstock of the country earlier this year after two incidents in which it responded to harmless devices as if they were real terrorist threats. Now Sen. Ed Kennedy (D-Mass.) wants to make absurd overreaction into national policy.
Talk show hosts in hiding after police threat
Posted: May 4, 2007 4:35 am
Updated: May 4, 2007 5:24 pm
Until this week, the only people who really hated the Jersey Guys were corrupt politicians. Now, corrupt state troopers hate them, too.
Craig Carton and Ray Rossi walked out in the middle of their popular afternoon talk radio show and took their families into hiding after learning of a press conference in which New Jersey state police union leader David Jones gave out their home addresses and threatened to “crush” the people who leaked anonymous Internet postings by state troopers in which they apparently were plotting a ticket-writing blitz.
It’s only suspicious if you’re dressed like a “terrorist”
Posted: April 24, 2007 10:41 pm
If you’re a potential threat, and you want to get those critical pictures of a bridge or a nuclear reactor, what do you do? After all, these days you’re bound to have cops on your ass within minutes.
The Joshua Bell busking, or, pearls before bureaucrats
Posted: April 13, 2007 4:54 am
Updated: April 13, 2007 8:44 am
Joshua Bell is perhaps America’s finest classical musician. Just this week he accepted the Avery Fisher Prize for his accomplishments. I admit I wouldn’t know; I’ve never been much into classical music. But I can recognize stupidity anywhere.
Too busy to be April fooled
Posted: April 2, 2007 5:18 am
In case you haven’t noticed, there haven’t been any posts here in several days. This is primarily because I’ve been wrapped up with another project which has taken up virtually all of my time since the last post. To make it up to you, I’m just going to give you links to several interesting items in my unread list for you to enjoy.
Hillary and Rudy Sitting In a Tree
Posted: March 25, 2007 9:00 pm
With each presidential election the candidates seem more proscribed and the selection process more truncated. Inner party poopers, talking heads and big money try to seal the deal before the ink is dry on the last guy. This time the dumb beats loudest for Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani. Hillary and Rudy are more alike than they’re different.
New R2-D2 mailboxes are not a bomb
Posted: March 22, 2007 3:47 am
Updated: March 22, 2007 6:15 am
In honor of Star Wars’ 30th anniversary, the United States Postal Service is unveiling a new commemorative stamp March 29. And my very own Lincoln, Neb., is one of 200 cities nationwide to be selected for a new mailbox to mark the event.
Homeland Security to move into loony bin
Posted: March 20, 2007 12:34 pm
The Department of Homeland Security is moving its headquarters to a lunatic asylum. As Dave Barry is fond of saying, I am not making this up.
Al Gore bypassed airport security
Posted: March 12, 2007 10:14 pm
The easiest way to get past airport security, without going through airport security, is to have an accommodating employee take you around the back way into the supposedly sterile area. Why would an airport employee do that?
There are at least two possible reasons. The first is that the employee is helping terrorists. The second is that the passenger is former Vice President Al Gore.
Post offices remove clocks
Posted: March 5, 2007 6:49 am
Updated: March 5, 2007 8:19 am
Everyone hates going into the post office, and yet everyone has to do it sooner or later. The lines are almost always long, and you’re guaranteed to be waiting and waiting and waiting. But never fear, the United States Postal Service is doing something about it. They’re removing their wall clocks.
Boston suspicious device was counting traffic
Posted: March 1, 2007 12:05 am
On January 31, Boston and Massachusetts officials terrorized that city and made asses of themselves in the national news. And they extorted $2 million and almost ruined two people’s lives over a cartoon character they intentionally mischaracterized as a threat. Apparently trying to repeat their performance, they sent the bomb squad out again Wednesday to blow up another “suspicious device” in Boston’s financial district. Only this time, the plan to extort some other hapless company backfired in their faces.
Bomb or not?
Posted: February 23, 2007 4:29 pm
Police these days are seeing bombs everywhere, even though there really aren’t any actual bombs. It’s clear that they need help.
The TSA loves you
Posted: February 14, 2007 2:40 pm
Updated: February 14, 2007 10:00 pm
(Update 2: TSA’s web site was not hacked after all. See below.)
Don’t you just love the men and women at the Transportation Security Administration?
Congress: We’re bored, can we go home now?
Posted: February 8, 2007 5:42 pm
Ever had a job where you had to sit at your desk for hours, waiting on the clock, even when there was absolutely no work to be done? That, it seems, is what the Democrats have done to Congress. One Representative was heard to quip, “We’re cramming two days of work into five days.”
What does writing your Congressman accomplish?
Posted: February 6, 2007 11:24 am
Do you ever get the feeling the government isn’t listening? If you’ve ever written your Member of Congress, you just might get the idea that while they’re “keeping your views in mind,” they really don’t care what you think.
Mooninite attack on Boston fails
Posted: February 1, 2007 10:58 am
Updated: February 1, 2007 1:11 pm
On Wednesday, an Earth crybaby whose brain is messed up spotted Ignignokt and Err in Boston — and called the police.
Springfield Laughs Its Asselins Off
Posted: January 23, 2007 3:52 am
In the bulging roster of corrupt pols who serve the people on the Eastern Seaboard, few provide as many black laughs as the Asselin clan of Springfield, Massachusetts. Even the klown kings of Jersey can’t hold a candle.
The TSA Follies
Posted: January 20, 2007 3:30 am
The Transportation Security Administration is making changes to its procedures, retraining its employees, and hiring terrorist sympathizers.
IRS can’t even collect taxes from government employees
Posted: January 19, 2007 4:00 am
Internal Revenue Service documents show that the government is still trying to recover nearly $2.8 billion in back taxes from over 450,000 active and retired federal government employees who failed to file tax returns or pay taxes, or some 3.3 percent of the federal bureaucracy.
New graphic torture photos from Iraq
Posted: January 7, 2007 1:14 am
On Saturday, a source in the Army in Baghdad was able to find a computer with functioning e-mail and sent out eight shocking images of U.S. troops doing unspeakable things to Iraqi citizens. After carefully reviewing the images, I am convinced there is a compelling public interest in publishing the images.
Parents are cautioned that these images, as the source who obtained the photos said, “are graphic and may cause a physical reaction.”
Pranking the Virginia DMV
Posted: December 23, 2006 9:02 am
Most people, for some odd reason, care deeply about how their driver’s license photo appears. They want it to be just perfect. And yet the pictures seem to always come out bad anyway.
But when you go in to the DMV and you actually want your picture to look bad, the pictures which actually come out are pretty funny.
Flying home for the holidays?
Posted: December 22, 2006 1:21 pm
A lot of you will be getting on planes this evening or this weekend to go home and spend the holidays with friends and relatives.
Here are a few tips to make your journey through the airport a little less of a nightmare and a little more of a joyous occasion.
Border fence company hired illegal immigrants
Posted: December 19, 2006 5:43 am
The company which built much of the U.S. border fence in San Diego, Calif., agreed to pay $5 million in fines for hiring illegal immigrants.
Mail call
Posted: December 15, 2006 8:44 am
Running a Web site like this, I get a lot of strange e-mail. And I don’t mean the spam, though some of that is pretty strange. I also get a wide assortment of hate mail, though less of it than I’d expect. A couple of things that came in lately, though …
DoD: Don’t be “That Guy”
Posted: December 12, 2006 10:43 pm
Updated: December 13, 2006 12:35 am
The Department of Defense is engaging in yet another war — this time, against binge drinking. And it’s called in reinforcements to wage a propaganda campaign to win the hearts and minds of the population, its own servicemembers.
Education news with a grain of salt
Posted: December 4, 2006 8:12 am
Research done by Tel Aviv University Professor of Psychology Avner Ziv confirms that students retain more information when humor is used effectively to illustrate important points. Of course, humor is very subjective, but here is a roundup of stories that I have run into recently that are at least worth a smile.
The TSA Follies
Posted: November 27, 2006 11:35 pm
With each passing day, airport security becomes even more surreal. It’s becoming increasingly clear to even the infrequent traveler that Homeland Security has become just another government bureaucracy more interested in enforcing its rules without rhyme or reason than in keeping anyone safe. Here are a few bizarre things that happened over the Thanksgiving holiday.
The TSA Follies
Posted: November 23, 2006 3:48 am
“We have a serious problem in this country,” says security expert Bruce Schneier, who gets a hat tip for this week’s TSA Follies. “The TSA operates above, and outside, the law. There’s no due process, no judicial review, no appeal.”
Nor, it seems, is there any intelligence, or even plain old common sense. But if we’re lucky, we can have a good laugh.
The Dog Dialed 911
Posted: November 11, 2006 3:53 pm
When the police arrived, they arrested the dog’s owner — not for allowing his dog to dial 911 on his cell phone, but for the 150 marijuana plants he had growing in the house.
Despite the fact that he was doing absolutely nothing wrong by growing marijuana, that isn’t what this post is about. Instead, it’s about the extent of human stupidity.
The TSA Follies
Posted: November 7, 2006 1:52 pm
Airport security is in good hands with the Transportation Security Administration . . . and monkeys might fly out of my butt.
The TSA’s new motto is “Vigilant, Effective, Efficient.” Let’s see about that. Here are four examples of how the TSA seems to be, well, a bad joke.
Election 2006: The Shadow of Bush/The Bride of Clinton
Posted: November 4, 2006 8:12 am
As Halloween recedes, Turkey Day looms. Yessir, the elections are upon us. But not all the monsters have decamped. Shove over inflatable Pilgrims and plastic Santas. The ghoulish denizens of Party City have decided to hang in our yard FOREVER.
The TSA Follies
Posted: November 2, 2006 9:00 am
The Transportation Security Administration . . . Vigilant, Effective, Efficient. Yes, and pigs can fly, too.
Here are three examples of how the TSA is keeping you less secure, and giving a good laugh to those of us with enough sense to stay away from airports as long as the government is in charge of security.
Fake boarding passes clear airport security
Posted: October 27, 2006 4:22 pm
Updated: October 27, 2006 5:14 pm
“This is your final boarding call for Al Kyder and Terry Wrist.”
If you really are an Al-Qaeda terrorist, a satirical television series, or Robert Johnson, getting past the no-fly list and the security checkpoint could be as simple as, well, making up a name and printing your own boarding pass.
Bureuacrats accidentally liquidate homeland security copier
Posted: October 12, 2006 11:44 pm
After a screwup by government bureaucrats spending federal homeland security money in which they embarrassed themselves by accidentally selling off the $8,000 copier they’d just acquired for pennies on the dollar, the bureaucrats are, instead of being sensible and moving on, are being even more stupid and preparing to spend even more money to get “their” copier back.
But the story of the copier reveals these bureaucrats aren’t your garden variety stupid. They’re colossally, phenomenally, incredibly stupid.
Help Homeland Security find potential threats to the nation
Posted: October 5, 2006 1:21 am
The Department of Homeland Security is having all kinds of trouble with its various data mining, natural language and other programs to vacuum in the entire content of the Internet and find potential threats to the nation.
So I thought I could lend them a hand.
The CIA’s lame recruiting commercial
Posted: September 16, 2006 8:48 am
For the past few weeks, the Central Intelligence Agency has been airing commercials on the Discovery Channel and other channels in an effort to recruit more scientists and engineers, and the commercial is terribly lame.
Watch for yourself.
Stupid Security Awards 2006
Posted: August 26, 2006 5:44 pm
We’ve all seen how stupid security has gotten. And most of us have had to go through some intrusive, outrageous procedures in the name of security. So why aren’t we secure? Security expert Bruce Schneier calls it “security theater,” feel-good measures which give the appearance of doing something, but are ineffective at best, and tyrannical at worst.
Now Privacy International is looking for the world’s dumbest “security” measures.
Are you ready for National Preparedness Month?
Posted: July 31, 2006 9:39 pm
National Preparedness Month is this September. According to the Department of Homeland Security, it is an effort to “encourage Americans to prepare for emergencies in their homes, businesses and schools.”
And you won’t believe the sorts of activities they have planned.
Government may cut itself in half by 2011
Posted: July 19, 2006 3:09 pm
Within the next five years, the federal government will implode, losing up to half its workforce, and up to 70 percent of its most senior staff, to retirement, creating a significant “brain drain” all across the government.
This is easily the best news I’ve heard all week.
Make mine freedom, too
Posted: June 20, 2006 6:43 pm
“The state is the Supreme Court. Our decision is as follows: No more private property. No more you.”
You are nothing. The state is everything.
America spent a good part of the 20th century battling that message, and inexplicably, just as it seemed we were winning, gave up and adopted the message as its own.
Your children are being brainwashed
Posted: June 19, 2006 11:23 pm
Are your children in public school?
If they are, get them out now, before it’s too late.
Otherwise, this is what could happen:
Is this line secure?
Posted: June 17, 2006 8:33 am
The biggest problem with homeland security as it’s been presented to us is this: How do you know you’re secure if you can’t even provide a coherent definition for the word?
That’s the question that comes to mind as I consider several so-called secure phone lines run by the Department of Homeland Security.
The Keystone Stasi
Posted: June 15, 2006 4:18 pm
The East German Stasi were ruthless in their efficiency and efficacy at keeping tabs on the population and rooting out anyone they wanted anytime they wanted. The Department of Homeland Security, however, can’t seem to find any terrorists, so it’s spending its time on Boston Red Sox fans.
Homeland Security secretary has stopped using e-mail
Posted: June 15, 2006 12:44 am
Updated: June 15, 2006 1:04 am
If you’re like most of us, your e-mail box fills up daily with pure junk. I’m not just talking about spam, though that’s certainly a problem. I’m talking about chain letters, stupid jokes forwarded 384 times, news you don’t need, even wedding invitations.
Homeland Security secretary Michael Chertoff found a solution to his e-mail problem: He no longer uses it.
DHS accepted fake Mexican ID
Posted: June 13, 2006 2:57 pm
Updated: June 13, 2006 11:26 pm
Security officers at the Department of Homeland Security’s headquarters building in Washington, D.C., let pass a man who used a fake Mexican consular identification card to gain entry to the building.
Seattle Schools push socialism, call non-socialists racist
Posted: June 1, 2006 8:46 pm
If you want to make a better life for yourself, if you have long-range goals, or if you reject collective ideologies such as socialism and Communism, Seattle Public Schools say you’re a racist.
Libertarian Party offers politician removal service
Posted: May 21, 2006 9:15 am
Updated: May 21, 2006 9:36 am
The National Libertarian Party unveiled a redesigned web site Sunday, and as part of the redesign it’s offering what it calls its “Politician Removal Service.”
Dispatches from the Drug War
Posted: May 21, 2006 6:38 am
You have certainly seen the “Anti-Drug” commercials on television. You know, the ones that encourage kids to find some more interesting or useful alternative to doing drugs. Well, a new study comes up with a startling conclusion: watching anti-marijuana commercials actually reduces negative attitudes toward marijuana. And as usual, there’s a government contractor behind the scenes raking in the taxpayer dough.
Terrorist leaders suffer from stupidity
Posted: May 5, 2006 4:45 pm
Updated: May 5, 2006 5:02 pm
If you’re a terrorist leader, one would expect you know how to do simple things like operate a rifle, and one would expect that the people around you would also know how to handle their weapons. Not Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. In video captured by U.S. forces and released Thursday, al-Zarqawi is seen struggling to operate an American-made M249 rifle, while his aides do stupid things such as grab the rifle by its barrel and burn themselves.
The true way to fix the entire government
Posted: April 30, 2006 3:13 am
If you’ve been a long time reader around here, you know that I spend my days pointing out all the problems caused by our government, and the devastating toll they take on all of our lives. I don’t always point out the solutions, though. So today I’m going to propose some solutions.
Marc Ecko tagged Air Force One
Posted: April 18, 2006 1:53 pm
Marc Ecko of Ecko Unlimited broke into a government facility where one of the Boeing 747 planes which serve as Air Force One was parked, and tagged it with graffiti. Ecko then posted video of the tagging online, along with a video statement of “why I tagged the President’s plane.”
Windows less secure than Linux: The FSM proof
Posted: April 17, 2006 6:09 pm
The Flying Spaghetti Monster has proved, once and for all, that Windows is less secure than Linux.
Potty stupid zoning board
Posted: April 17, 2006 4:44 pm
“The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.” — Tacitus
So reads a sticker on one of fifteen toilets in the back yard of Anderson Twp., Ohio, residents Robin Sutton and Allen Lade.
After the city decided to install a sidewalk running along their property, the couple wanted to put up a fence, for privacy and the safety of their grandchildren. The township denied their request for a zoning variance, though, and in protest, up went the toilets.
Come back with a warrant
Posted: April 11, 2006 6:58 am
Updated: April 17, 2006 7:28 pm
I may have nothing to hide, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to show it to you. Come back with a warrant.
Students sign petition to end women’s suffrage
Posted: April 3, 2006 10:25 am
Going to a private Catholic high school is no guarantee of getting a good education, as several students of Padua Academy, a girls’ school in Wilmington, Delaware, found out, when boys from Salesianum School, the Catholic boys’ school across town, came over and asked Padua students to sign a petition to end women’s suffrage and videotaped them doing it.
Congress votes to repeal Bill of Rights
Posted: April 1, 2006 12:38 pm
Updated: April 1, 2006 7:02 pm
The House of Representatives and Senate both voted Saturday in favor of a Constitutional amendment to repeal the Bill of Rights, the first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution. The proposal had overwhelming bipartisan support, receiving a 371-55 vote in the House, and a 91-8 vote in the Senate. The proposed amendment now goes to the states for ratification.
Create your own terrorist threat
Posted: April 1, 2006 10:57 am
We have plenty of terrorist threats to worry about already. They could pack a bus full of explosives, or blow up a subway with a baby carriage, or release deadly chemicals from crop dusters. But the truth is, Americans just aren’t afraid enough, so we need your help to create some more terrorist threats.
Bush calls for evil tax cuts to be made permanent
Posted: April 1, 2006 9:54 am
Updated: April 1, 2006 7:00 pm
“Who knows best how to use your money — the politicians in Washington, or you?”
That was the question President George W. Bush asked in his weekly radio address this morning.
The answer, of course, is the politicians in Washington.
Dick Cheney goes skeet shooting
Posted: April 1, 2006 3:11 am
Updated: April 1, 2006 6:59 pm
Vice President Dick Cheney will go skeet shooting at the Quantico Shooting Club on the Quantico Marine Corps Base today, Homeland Stupidity has learned.
Never let bureaucrats near computers
Posted: March 27, 2006 3:09 pm
Government bureaucrats are the same everywhere. That is, they’re stupid. And today’s stupid bureaucrat is Jerry Taylor, city manager for Tuttle, Oklahoma.
SWAT team holds movie makers hostage
Posted: March 26, 2006 1:41 pm
A group of people held downtown Fernandina Beach, Fla., hostage Thursday night, reported the local weekly newspaper.
That group of people was the local SWAT team.
Bits of homeland stupidity
Posted: March 6, 2006 1:15 pm
This week’s roundup of stupid news headlines comes from the Department of Recto-Cranial Inversion.
Bill O’Reilly sends FOX Security after callers
Posted: March 4, 2006 2:16 am
Updated: March 4, 2006 2:45 am
I suppose it’s time for my annual post about how much Bill O’Reilly sucks. Usually I stay away from this because he does such a great job of making a fool of himself on his own, and if you go anywhere near his no spin zone, your head is going to start spinning.
I should also say that I don’t really care about his ongoing feud with Keith Olbermann, except insofar as it seems to bring out the worst in Bill O’Reilly. Here’s a prime example:
Officers who tried to police library porn reassigned
Posted: February 18, 2006 1:02 pm
If you look at Internet pornography at the public library, you just might be a redneck terrorist.
So, apparently, thought two officers of the security division of the Montgomery County, Md., Homeland Security Department, which provides unarmed security guards to county buildings.
Me the People
Posted: February 17, 2006 3:42 pm
Have you suffered physical and emotional distress because your secret spying program was revealed?
Who did the President turn to when he needed someone to defend his domestic spying program?
“The law firm of Gonzales, Watchu & Howe is here to help. I’m Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and I will defend your right to spy on Americans.”
Bits of homeland stupidity
Posted: February 10, 2006 12:53 pm
I haven’t done this in a while either, so here’s yet another edition of quick news headlines to discuss around the water cooler while you reflect on how much better off you are because you had the happy fortune to be born inside the United States of America, and screw the rest of the world.
Bush smoking Old Dutch Cleanser?
Posted: February 6, 2006 9:04 pm
When you’re President of the United States, you know your political career is in trouble when prominent members of your own party are criticizing your decisions. And what a criticism it was. Rep. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) said today that if Bush believed he could just conduct surveillance on Americans without getting a warrant, “He’s smoking [Old] Dutch Cleanser.”
Milbloggers aren’t stupid, you know
Posted: February 6, 2006 3:46 pm
Last month I reported that the Army had hired public relations firm Hass MS&L to provide “exclusive editorial content” to military bloggers, consisting of “an official counter to the perceived unwillingness of the mainstream media to report the ‘good news’ from Iraq and the war on terror,” according to national security reporter William Arkin.
The first such content has surfaced, and it’s being panned as “lame.”
In 2006 I will vote
Posted: February 4, 2006 3:52 pm
Our most recent poll asked readers which party they would vote for in 2006. The results weren’t terribly surprising, and I’ll probably run the same question again in August or September. For now, here are the results.
Pro-war wife of Congressman ejected from State of the Union address
Posted: February 2, 2006 10:38 am
Updated: February 2, 2006 1:05 pm
Hm, it seems that if you aren’t a member of Congress, it’s illegal to make political statements inside the Capitol building. Two, count them, two people were thrown out of Tuesday night’s State of the Union address, apparently for trying to do just that. One of them, of course, was Cindy Sheehan, who reportedly tried to unfurl a banner in the House gallery. The other person was the wife of one of the members of Congress.
Transcript: State of the Union Address
Posted: January 31, 2006 9:13 pm
Updated: January 31, 2006 10:26 pm
In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate. But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of goodwill and respect for one another — and I will do my part. Tonight the state of our Union is strong — and together we will make it stronger.
Bad computer, no donut
Posted: January 21, 2006 1:00 pm
Keene, N.H., police officers going to Dunkin’ Donuts ran into a problem: The store’s computers went haywire anytime they pulled in.
Qantas chairman mistakenly detained at Los Angeles airport
Posted: January 12, 2006 5:50 am
You think you’re having trouble getting through airport security? Try being the chairman of Qantas.
South Park gets last laugh
Posted: January 12, 2006 2:47 am
The December 7 South Park season finale, entitled “Bloody Mary,” got Catholics’ blood boiling over scenes it claims were offensive. The Catholic League called for the show to be permanently retired and excluded from future DVD releases.
But Comedy Central refused to cave to pressure.
FEMA is still a joke
Posted: January 10, 2006 1:32 am
Updated: January 11, 2006 11:46 pm
Alert reader Tony Street sent me a snapshot from the inside front cover of Consumer Reports magazine showing part of a letter from FEMA to various homeowners in flood-prone areas offering flood insurance.
White House discovers boldface type
Posted: January 5, 2006 11:14 pm
In a dramatic change expected to improve the Bush administration’s communications with the media and the public, the White House has begun to use boldface type in its press briefings.
Justice Scalia walks into a bar…
Posted: December 30, 2005 10:40 pm
Updated: December 31, 2005 2:29 pm
Get your Supreme Court Justice Bobbleheads today! Celebrate humor in the Supreme Court! The law journal The Green Bag is to release an analysis of humor in Supreme Court proceedings, reports the New York Times.
Catholic League condemns South Park
Posted: December 29, 2005 9:06 pm
After the December 7 season finale of South Park, the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights slammed the network and demanded that the network apologize and permanently retire the episode.
Monica Lewinsky didn’t make it into the history books after all
Posted: December 27, 2005 9:30 am
Updated: December 27, 2005 7:25 pm
The first history textbooks which mention the Clinton era are out, and while they mention the impeachment, few of them go into much detail, and none at all mention Monica Lewinsky’s name or any of the sordid details.
The Onion’s new TSA airport screening guidelines
Posted: December 24, 2005 12:46 pm
Hm, I forgot to pick up a copy of this week’s Onion, so thanks to Bruce Schneier for reminding me. Sure enough, the TSA’s new airport screening guidelines are in there. And here at Homeland Stupidity, we never pass up a good government joke.
Gazumped: A brief history of the Department of Homeland Security
Posted: December 21, 2005 10:30 pm
Bringing 22 different government agencies under a single umbrella is no easy task, as former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge discovered. And now, under a new secretary, the work to integrate the department is far from complete.
Running out of cemetery space, town to ban death
Posted: December 13, 2005 9:25 pm
Biritiba Mirim, Brazil, mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva proposed a unique solution to the city’s running out of space to bury the dead: Pass a ban on death.
Santa Claus upgrades suit, workshop
Posted: December 12, 2005 5:41 pm
Updated: December 12, 2005 6:37 pm
With upgrades to his suit being provided by an American defense contractor, Santa Claus will be set to make his annual deliveries of Christmas gifts faster than ever this year. And he’ll need the speed, too.
