Jersey Shore? Fuhgeddaboudit. Jersey City is the gem of reality TV. Shore is MTV. Jersey City is FBI. Like, how real is that? Killer videos of pols talking trash and passing cash have been unspooling in federal court in Newark at the trial of Jersey City Deputy Mayor Leona Beldini. Beldini was busted last summer in an FBI sweep that corralled dozens of Jersey pols. It was one of the largest corruption roundups in Jersey’s thick history of roundups. The majority of the busted were from Hudson County, parent entity of Jersey City, second largest city in the state. Twelve public servants have pleaded guilty; Leona Beldini is first to stand trial. Charges? Bribe taking, attempted extortion, and conspiracy to commit extortion. MTV’s Jersey Shore has hot munchkin Snooki, but Jersey City has the far classier — albeit far older — Beldini. Back in the day, Beldini was burlesque queen “Hope Diamond.” “The Gem of Exotics.”

In the here and now, Deputy Mayor Beldini is a prominent Realtor, past president of the Hudson County Board of Realtors. Until suspended as deputy mayor (an appointed position) Beldini was Jersey City Mayor Jerramiah Healy’s liaison to various development-related municipal agencies. Beldini also headed the board of the quasi public Jersey City Economic Development Corporation, which among other things, administers the city’s Urban Enterprise Zone projects. One third of Jersey City is Urban Enterprise Zone. Development projects in The Zone are eligible for a wide array of tax exemptions and utility breaks.

Mayor Jerramiah Healy hasn’t been indicted but he appears in FBI videos featuring Beldini. (There are other tapes, starring other pols.) As does former Jersey City Housing Authority Commissioner, Vice President of the Board of Education, and Hudson County Affirmative Action Officer Edward Cheatam. (Yup, Ed wore 3 hats.) Also appearing: the late Jack Shaw, a well worn political consultant. Cheatam has pleaded guilty to conspiring with Beldini and others “to accept corrupt cash payments” in return for “official influence.”* Consultant Jack Shaw died of a Valium overdose a few days after being busted.

Mayor Jerry Healy is Jersey City’s version of Jersey Shore’s bod-flaunting JWOWW. JHOWW-come-he-keeps-getting-elected and Beldini go back decades. A Healy son has a license in Beldini’s real estate office and Beldini and the Healys are neighbors in Jersey City. They have summer homes a block from each other in Bradley Beach at the — where else — Jersey shore. In 1999, when Healy was Chief Judge of Jersey City Municipal Court, cops visited his vacation crib. Neighbors were bitching about party hearties. Healy wrestled with the cops on his porch. In the nude. (Though one neighbor said he was clutching a towel when the fracas began.) Healy pleaded guilty to a minor disorderly conduct charge.

In 2004, mayoral candidate Jerry Healy was seen — and photographed — passed out naked on his front porch in Jersey City. The nudie pic, which was posted on the Internet by an opponent, might have discouraged a less determined electorate. But Healy swept to victory.

In 2006, Mayor Healy was back for a rematch with the Bradley Beach cops. (This time he was clothed.) Two officers rassled him to the ground outside his sister’s bar and gave him a few shots of pepper spray. The shots chased a good deal of beer. Healy was convicted on disorderly conduct charges in 2007. The same year he was made chairman of the Hudson County Democratic Organization, a monster political machine that’s been somewhat weakened by a decade of corruption indictments and flaccid leadership.

By the Spring of 2009, Jerramiah Healy was on the mayoral campaign trail again, with Leona Beldini as campaign treasurer. Things were looking good. New York City Mayor Mike “The Situation” Bloomberg was set to toss a $1,000-a-head fundraiser for Healy at his NYC townhouse. (The Situation and his deputy mayor, Kevin Sheekey, have Jersey City roots. Sheekey’s family goes way back with the Healy family.) Another big bux event was scheduled at the Beacon, an elegant condo fortress in one of Jersey City’s poorest nabes. Plus, a new developer in town was spreading cash around.

Developer David Esenbach wanted to build a high-rise luxury condo project of 750 units on land next to a site contaminated with chromium in an inner city neighborhood. Esenbach was confident the units could be marketed for half-a-mil each. But he worried the city’s planning, zoning, and overall development process might be too slow and cumbersome.

Esenbach conveyed his concern to Mayor Jerry Healy, Deputy Mayor Leona Beldini, Housing Commissioner Ed Cheatam, and political consultant Jack Shaw in meetings at Healy’s favorite luncheonette (City Hall is so impersonal) and other eateries. The foursome assured Esenbach that Jersey City was developer-friendly. Healy touted “a planning department let’s put it that way, that’s receptive.”** Beldini and Cheatam praised the director of the Division of Zoning Enforcement. “Tony’s Good” opined Cheatam. “He’s good” echoed Beldini. “Tony’s good. Tony’s been good for a long time” said Cheatam.

Despite the real estate slump, Beldini seemed to think Esenbach’s projected price of half-a-mil each for his condos was on target. Saying “with what’s happening, the inner city is the place to invest.” Esenbach granted Beldini exclusive dibs on marketing the condos. Beldini touted her ability to “cut through red tape” and cited her position at the Economic Development Corporation and as the mayor’s liaison to the Parking Authority. (Parking being a huge issue in large scale development projects.) She also tried pitching a “shovel ready” former sausage factory for a potential condo project but Esenbach didn’t bite. He’d already passed on a macaroni factory pitched by Cheatam.

(In ye old days, Jersey City produced something other than oleaginous pols and real estate capers.)

As the meetings progressed Esenbach made “donations” totaling $20 thousand. (A slice of what he was laying out at other meetings with Shaw, Cheatam, and myriad other officials.) Leona Beldini didn’t handle the cash but was enthusiastic about the transfer. Saying $10 thousand was for “J” (Jack Shaw) and the “Jersey City Democratic Committee”. She delineated how the money would be broken down into “different funds” (to beat legal limits on contributions) in order to “funnel it back into the mayor . . . which everybody does.” Esenbach said he’d “do him (Shaw) another 10 for Healy” and would “do more before election.” “Beautiful” replied Beldini.

Mayor Healy didn’t handle the cash. Cheatam and Shaw did the blunt talk. Esenbach did the taping.

Oh nooo! Developer David Esenbach didn’t exist. He was really developer Solomon Dwek, serial Ponzi schemer. In 2006, Dwek was nailed by the Feds for bank fraud after kiting tens of millions in bad checks. Apres bust, Dwek turned informant. Dwek was a natural for the job of Sting Boy. At Beldini’s trial, he admitted bribing countless public servants re development deals for some 10 years in Jersey and New York. He’d laundered the bribes through his family’s Yeshiva in Monmouth County. Dwek’s gift of grifter gab served him well with Healy, Beldini, Cheatam, and Shaw. On the FBI tapes the Fab Four echo each other’s lines and finish each other’s sentences like folks in a very old marriage. Dwek picked up their dialog and fed it back. Riffing on the slippery chit chat.

As for visuals, the tapes are cinema verite as shot from under a shirt. A herky jerky chest level camera catches Mayor Healy fist-pumping pepper onto potato salad. His tie hangs unknotted as if he’s starting to strip. His face looks red even in black and white. On one tape Leona Beldini describes the upcoming Healy fund raiser at the Beacon as an “elegant affair” with “carving stations” and “champagne.” The guests would be swell as well. “We want people who’ll look good.” One wonders — was Healy invited?

Political consultant Jack Shaw lends a touch of Banquo to the vids. As said, he died of a Valium overdose a few days after being busted. Accident? Only his shadow knows. His shadow hangs over the FBI’s case in Hudson County. After his arrest, Shaw allegedly agreed to cooperate with the Feds. His input would have been invaluable. It was Shaw who introduced Esenbach/Dwek to many of the indicted or suspect pols and it was Shaw who collected $40,000 from Dwek as an alleged bribe for the biggest fish in the batch — Joseph V. Doria, state commissioner of the Department of Community Affairs (DCA). As DCA head, Joe Doria chaired the New Jersey Redevelopment Authority, the Housing and Mortgage Finance Agency, and the Council on Affordable Housing. Doria, a Hudson County machine man elevated to state power by former Governor Jon Corzine, admits meeting with Shaw and Dwek but denies taking bribes. Doria resigned as DCA head last summer, after his offices were raided by the FBI. He has not been indicted.

Jack Shaw cut his corruption teeth in Cook County, Illinois. He told Solomon Dwek that of all the places he knew, Hudson County was the most like Cook County. When the state’s attorney in Cook investigated Shaw in the late 70s, he emigrated to Hudson County. (He was invited in.) In Hudson, Shaw was jack of all trades. Among other things, he served as campaign manager and advisor to ex Hudson County Executive Robert Janiszewski. In 2002, Janiszewski pleaded guilty to extorting bribes from developers. Until his arrest became public knowledge, he wore a wire for the Feds. There went another batch . . .

Jack Shaw had his ups and downs. He riled a few cronies by allegedly embezzling from them to support a cocaine habit. The State Commission of Investigation said scathing things about how Shaw and a buddy ran the Hudson County chapter of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. But in Hudson County, tomorrow is always another day. As the new millennium glided along, Shaw was guiding New York developer George Filopoulos of Metrovest Equities through the shoals of Jersey City’s development process. The result? The Beacon. An elegant condo fortress in one of Jersey City’s poorest nabes. FHA mortgages available! By the buy, Jack Shaw’s girlfriend was/is property manager for the Beacon. Money that Dwek gave Shaw flowed back to Mayor Jerry Healy’s campaign through her checkbook.

Even after death, Jack Shaw is a go-to guy. Leona Beldini’s attorney claims Jack was the real grafter. Cheatam? How ’bout that name? Solomon Dwek is a deceitful rat, Beldini an honest public servant. So pure she didn’t need to take the stand in her own defense. She just sat next to her attorney, shining . . .

As this is being written, the jury is out onU.S. v. Leona Beldini. In the FBI tapes, Deputy Mayor Beldini kept her hands clear of Dwek’s cash. Quid pro quo was at tongue’s length. Perhaps the jury will say “not proven.” But whether Beldini is convicted or not, the Feds deserve some sort of media award. Jersey City is a Reality TV classic. Its images are forever.

*Ex-Hudson County Official Admits Conspiring with Numerous Others to Extort Cash in Return for Official Influence, USDOJ, U.S. Attorney, District of New Jersey, 09/18/09

**Unless otherwise noted, all quotes are from the following transcripts of videos and audio tapes played during the U.S. v. Leona Beldini trial, and published in the Newark Star-Ledger:

• Dwek, Cheatam, Shaw body recording transcript 2, March 11, 2009
• Jersey City diner hidden camera video: Mayor Healy, Beldini meet with Dwek, March 13, 2009
• FBI informant, Jersey City deputy mayor Beldini discuss campaign donations, March 24, 2009

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

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["Jersey City, New Jersey" photo by Oquendo; CC BY 2.0]

Please join us for our great tradition: Al Gore singing classic Christmas Songs, with a global message!

Be Seeing You!

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An important and insightful look at an important and insightful (?) news story that means a great deal to all the cavemen in Washington, DC! Be Seeing You!

[Note: A November 27 car accident has led to allegations that Tiger Woods has had numerous extramarital affairs. Woods was cited for careless driving and paid a $164 fine.]

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Your tax dollars at work!

Happy Thanksgiving!

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[Note: Images discussed in this story may be offensive to some people. Because of this, we have linked to potentially offensive images using a distinctive red link rather than displaying them directly in the story. Viewer discretion is advised.]

Google posted an apology for image search results in which the top image depicted first lady Michelle Obama as an ape. The image, however, was just one of dozens of images of celebrities and political figures altered to look like apes.

The image, which has been circulating on the Internet for over a year, drew little attention until it began appearing as the top result in Google image searches for Michelle Obama after being posted to a spam blog. That site has since taken down the picture, and the image no longer appears in the top image search results.

Google says that its search results are automatically generated via computer algorithms. “The beliefs and preferences of those who work at Google, as well as the opinions of the general public, do not determine or impact our search results,” the statement said.

Ironically, the interest in this image has caused Google’s automated system to suggest a related search of “michelle obama monkey” when people search for images of Michelle Obama.

Many people have called the image racist and offensive. But Jasmine Waters, whose entertainment blog FlyStyleLife was among the first to republish the image, disagreed, attributing the image to a site called Celebrity Apes.

“If you choose to visit the source site, you will see that this picture WAS NOT created out of racially motivated ignorance,” Waters wrote after posting the image of Mrs. Obama. “Had that have been the case, as a journalist, an American and most importantly, a Black woman, I would have NEVER posted it.”

Before being taken down Wednesday, Celebrity Apes contained altered images of John McCain, Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, Michael Jackson, Jessica Alba, Sarah Silverman, Barack Obama himself, and dozens of other celebrities and political figures. Nobody was spared, not even Ron Paul.

Celebrity Apes is owned by Michael Hussey, 31, of Alfred, Maine. Hussey runs Sharper Communications, a public relations firm which says on its web site that its “goal is to develop & implement creative and strategic breakthrough PR programs that get our clients noticed via news publicity.” In the 1990s Hussey created the Rate My Face web site, a precursor to the better-known Hot or Not. His personal blog shows an image of Sarah Palin as a parrot.

Likening a “person of color” to an ape or monkey has been considered a racial insult since the times of African slavery. Since the Darwinian theory of evolution became widely accepted, the insult has been used to refer to anyone, regardless of race, to suggest that the person had not sufficiently evolved. In the case of Celebrity Apes and the photo in question, it appears to be simply a series of ill-considered jokes.

Nevertheless, reading the news as I do, sometimes I have to wonder whether the people who are running the country, whatever race, color or political party they are, have actually evolved past the monkey stage.

(HT: Schneier the Security Rock Star, again)

If only the terrorists were this easy to find.

Hard to believe somebody actually was dumb enough to walk out in public with this T-shirt on.

I’ve been looking around the Internet to find someplace to buy this T-shirt, but I’ve come up empty. Anyone seen this before?

The closest I’ve been able to come is this.

Anonymous photographer; courtesy FAIL Blog

After years of writing about how governments abuse, murder, and imprison innocent people and destroy life around the world, I find that I have been wrong, really wrong. All this time, I wrongfully tried to convince readers that terrible things are done in the name of “good government,” and now I have to apologize to them.

Why this turnaround? I have seen the light. Government is good, yes, very, very good. How do I know this? Why Douglas J. Amy, a professor of politics at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts (an island of True Political Correctness in America’s Most Politically-Correct State) has opened a world of Truth and Beauty to me with his website, Government Is Good.

You see, until I read this wonderful site praising the Great Accomplishments and Missions of Government (or at least government when run by the Democratic Party), I had no idea that government constantly did wonderful things for me. I was ungrateful, but no more!

For example, did you know that if it were not for government, your house would burn down if you turned on the lights, as those wicked, profit-seeking homebuilders and electricians would wire your house in a sloppy manner that immediately would start a conflagration that would kill you and your family? (As I read this site, I realize that the world is divided into two kinds of people. The first category includes those who run private businesses in order to cheat and kill you, and the second category includes those selfless government workers who tirelessly labor to keep those other evil people from harming you.)

Now, let me deal with one of the complaints that libertarians falsely have made against the wonders and greatness of government: the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is heavy-handed and abusive. Why, even as I write this article (on Saturday, November 14), I see that there is a terrible piece on this website that dares question our government masters who simply are protecting us from the predations of private enterprise.

If it were not for those wonderful TSA people, airlines would practically invite terrorists onto passenger aircraft and all of our cities would lay in ruins as plane after plane would be crashing into them, BECAUSE THIS IS THE GOAL OF THE PRIVATE AIRLINES: KILL ALL THEIR PASSENGERS. How do I know this is true? Professor Amy has told me.

Now, wait a minute, you say. What about our rights? Doesn’t the Declaration of Independence say that the role of government is to protect those rights that we already own by virtue of our human existence? Oh, silly you. Professor Amy is much more on target:

We often make the mistake of seeing our rights and civil liberties as merely the absence of some kind of governmental action. We believe that we have free speech or freedom of religion when the government does nothing to impede those freedoms. But in reality, our rights depend heavily on active government — on positive government actions. In fact, the very existence of rights depends on government. Rights and civil liberties are actually political constructs — creations of government. Rights do not exist until they are created by law or established in a constitution. We only have the right of free speech because it is guaranteed in our constitution. If we didn’t have our constitution, or if we didn’t have government, our civil liberties would literally not exist. (Emphasis mine) In the preamble of the Constitution, the founding fathers did not say that in order to “secure liberty for ourselves and our posterity” they were going to abolish government; they said that they were going to “ordain and establish” a democratic constitutional government to do so. They knew, as Benjamin Barber has explained, that “in democracies, representative institutions do not steal our liberties from us, they are the precious medium through which we secure our liberties.”

Yes, before the establishment of the U.S. Constitution in 1787, no one had rights. Furthermore, those colonials who believed in things like liberty and the absence of tyranny were all wet. They didn’t have any rights because government had not established them. So THERE, readers of this page! Bet you have not even thought of this timeless truth!

As I read through this wonderful website, I find it is a treasure trove of Truth and Beauty, as I go through declaration after declaration in which we are told that taxes are what secure our freedom, that high taxes are preferable to low taxes, and bureaucracy is pure (when Democrats run it) and much more freedom-loving than those old private companies.

Professor Amy gives many wonderful examples that we should heed, and I will present a few. The first deals with the present economic crisis that occurred because private enterprise — working without any government regulatory oversight — created this recession that never would have happened had government been fully in charge of our economy. You see, the Federal Reserve System operates to protect the rest of us from the ravages of private enterprise, and when the government forced lending institutions to reduce their underwriting standards, government was not being foolish and reckless; oh, no, it was protecting its citizens from those mean and nasty arbitrary standards that those wicked people in private enterprise lay upon us.

(You see, companies only profit when they kill or maim their customers, or put prices so high that they cannot sell many of their goods. It is government that provides our goods for free because government is so far-seeing and so wise that it knows how to take scarce goods the turn them into free goods without causing any economic dislocations. After all, everyone who believes in the wonder and goodness of government knows that the Law of Scarcity was made up by evil people who think government is bad.)

This past week, people celebrated the 20th anniversary of the end of the Berlin Wall. Yet, few people know the truth as to why communism, and especially the Soviet Union, collapsed. That is why you, dear reader, must read Government Is Good, for Professor Amy has the answer to that question, too.

Why did the U.S.S.R. go the way of the Assyrian Empire? Let the good professor explain:

…our rights depend heavily on an active and well-funded government. When governments find themselves in a position where they can’t effectively tax and spend as has sometimes been the case in countries in the former Soviet Union citizen rights and liberties become unenforceable and largely non-existent.

I had no idea that the real reason that Stalin murdered millions of people and enslaved hundreds of millions more was because he and his minions could not “effectively tax and spend.” Oh, if only, IF ONLY the leadership of the Soviet government could have found this website or hired this great professor as a consultant, THE U.S.S.R. COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED, AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A BEACON OF GOOD GOVERNMENT AND LIBERTY FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD. Hooda thunkit? Therefore, dear readers, you must abandon this antiquated notion that the state is the enemy of liberty. Indeed, those who heap calumny upon the agents of the state are guilty of promoting false and evil doctrines. Thus, to gain a true education, you must read, nay absorb, Government Is Good.

As you read through this site (which, admittedly, takes a long, long time, as Professor Amy is quite prolific in his writings that lay praise upon praise upon the state) you will find many wonderful truths. You will discover that Ludwig von Mises was absolutely wrong in his views on bureaucracy because Professor Amy knows that bureaucracy is an efficient and compassionate servant of a mostly-ungrateful populace. You also will discover that you need to pay more taxes — lest our fate be that of the U.S.S.R.

Furthermore, you will find that one of the Great Prophets of our time is Paul Krugman. (He does not mention Ron Paul, but I am sure that the Good Professor believes that Rep. Paul is a very bad man who is harming the Cause of Good Government because, as we already know, Government Is Good.)

Should you continue to explore this wonderful site, you will find that capitalism itself “needs government.” If you read this section, you will find that the reason serfdom existed in the Middle Ages was because there was not enough government. You also will find that private enterprise cannot survive without government because government money is sound and wonderful, not like that dishonest private money that used to exist.

(The one thing that puzzles me, however, is why the Good Professor does not deal with what seems to be the obvious question: If government is so good and so efficient and so kind and gentle, then why do we need private enterprise and private property at all? I’m not sure as to why he has failed to make the obvious connection, but maybe he wants to humor us or let us go slowly into socialism so that when we finally discover the error of our ways, we won’t be in despair because we had wasted so much of our lives.)

I could go on and on, but I won’t. My article, unfortunately, will not convince many readers of this blog and other libertarians to change their evil ways and embrace the state. No, they will continue to believe the falsehood that the U.S.S.R. collapsed because economic calculation under socialism is impossible and not the truth, according to the Good Professor, that the Land of Lenin and Stalin could not “effectively tax and spend.”

So, there you have it. Government Is Good, and if you don’t believe it, then perhaps you need to face the same fate as befell David Koresh and Vickie Weaver, who got what was coming to them because they didn’t believe that Government Is Good.

William L. Anderson, Ph.D. [send him mail], teaches economics at Frostburg State University in Maryland, and is an adjunct scholar of the Ludwig von Mises Institute. He also is a consultant with American Economic Services. Visit his blog.

Copyright © 2009 by LewRockwell.com. Permission to reprint in whole or in part is gladly granted, provided full credit is given.

Abbie Hoffman, Yippie Emeritus, died 20 years ago. He was master of the culture jam before the term was coined, whacking the establishment with its own wack.

Quoting Wikipedia: “Culture jamming sometimes entails transforming mass media to produce ironic or satirical commentary about itself, using the original medium’s communication method.”

Hello, ACORN? Can I come over in clown pimp garb and film you getting down with housing fraud?

Talking interviews. . .

In 1980, I interviewed Abbie Hoffmann for the New York Rocker, a publication devoted to Punk Rock. The interview appeared in March, 1981. It stuck out like a psychedelic thumb. A member of an almost-famous Punk group accosted me on an East Village street demanding to know why Abbie was in theRocker. At the time, many Punks viewed the counter-culture of the 60’s and early 70’s as a repressive dead hand and spat on it in music, prose, and pose. The rebellion didn’t last. As Punk segued into deodorized New Wave, it embraced dead hand sentiments quicker than you could scream “destroy.” In its high school heart, Punk was conformist not truly contrarian. Unlike, say, Abbie Hoffman.

I knew Abbie as nodding acquaintance from my radical daze in NYC. In August 1968, I crashed for a time at the Yippie house in Chicago as the Democratic National Convention began its wild ride to the nomination of Hubert Humphrey as presidential candidate. Protesters from all over the country were gathering — for sober anti-war demonstrations and for the Yippie “Festival of Life.” The latter looked to be the anti establishment blow out of all time. Festival planning sessions “led” by Abbie Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, and other luminaries at the Yippie House were chaotic and open to the dozens of crashers drifting in and out. Nothing like the war room strategy sessions imagined by fantasists on the right. Besides, the masses of kids who came to Chicago were beyond command by Master Plan. Their motives were their own.

Weird to see, four decades later, fantasists on the left spinning similar conspiracy theories about the masses of Tea Party protesters. Many of whom carry flags sporting rattlesnakes and the slogan “Don’t Tread On Me.” An American Revolution classic that was also popular in Chicago circa 1968.

Interviewing Abbie in 1980 had its problems. He was a talented raconteur who was almost always “on.” He had a trunk full of culture jam tales about Yippies throwing money into the New York Stock Exchange pit, levitating the Pentagon, running a pig named Pigasus for president, and the 1969/70 theater-of-the-absurd masterpiece that was the conspiracy trial of the Chicago 7. The problem was getting past the familiar. My interview was taking place soon after Abbie surfaced from the underground; he’d dropped down the rabbit hole in 1973 after being busted with enough cocaine to qualify as dealer weight. Abbie was willing to discuss his underground adventures as “Barry Freed” but probing questions about his drug bust were off the table. For one thing, legal issues still loomed.

Abbie painted the coke bust as a government frame. Some people believed him. I didn’t. To argue the subject at length would be off topic. But I will say that while I admired — and still admire — Abbie’s creative spirit and innovative political style, I never idolized him or any other radicals I knew in real life. (Propaganda images were another story. I had fatuous teenage moments re Che Guevara.) Rads put their pants on one leg at a time, just like Republicans. Speaking of getting dressed –

In my interview Abbie described how as a boy, he’d heard a psychologist on the radio say you could tell what kind of a person someone was by which shoe they put on first in the morning, the left or right. (Yes Virginia, pop psychology was just as dumb in radio days.) Upon hearing this, Abbie resolved to never put his shoes on in the same order again.

I really liked that story. Still do. The image of boy Abbie listening to the radio when radio was king is evocative and touching. His determination to resist categorization appeals to my contrarian sympathies. (Though being a contrarian means having to admit the radio shrink would probably have said striving to put your shoes on randomly is as much a readable pattern as anything else.)

I included Abbie’s shoe story in the New York Rocker hard copy of my taped interview, but editor Andy Schwartz cut it. I figured he was disturbed by the idea of random shoe donning or that the radio shrink was his father. But he did leave other good stuff. Including Abbie’s answer to my questions as to why The Movement (it was always mentally capitalized) had become repressive and why its focus had narrowed to lifestyle issues such as eating “right.”

Abbie responded to the first question as if I’d asked why pigs had started flying. He conveyed that The Movement was incapable, by its very nature, of being repressive. As for the narrowed focus, he said making a revolution was hard, people get tired.

Somehow, his answers didn’t satisfy. It seemed as if Abbie the contrarian was blind in the left eye.

Eventually, I answered the questions myself. The bloody-minded and age old desire to control others via government power overwhelmed the Don’t Tread On Me component of the counter-culture. Celebration of free thought gave way to castigation of politically incorrect thought-crime and an attempt to control reality by controlling language. (See Newspeak.) And those who shifted their revolutionary focus to lifestyle issues weren’t tired. They just realized it was the best way to get people where they live.

Abbie Hoffman died 20 years ago from a massive drug overdose. Verdict: suicide. As said, I still admire his creative spirit and innovative political style. And it’s great to see, four decades after Chicago, that folks still know how to do the anti-establishment culture jam. Even if the establishment they’re jamming is chock full of faces and dogmas from my old daze.

Yippie!

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

“There are no spokesmen for the Yippies. . . . We are all our own leaders.”

Revolution Towards A Free Society: Yippie! By A. Yippie, 1968

“And something is happening here/but you don’t know what it is/do you, Mister Jones?”

Ballad of a Thin Man, Bob Dylan, 1965

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Spoiler alert for the last few folks who take Alan Greenspan seriously — don’t read chapter two of Douglas Rushkoff’s new book Life, Inc. The scene where Greenspan addresses attendees of the 2008 Wealth Expo in New York City via satellite is pure twisted comedy. The Expo, a yearly wing ding of wishful thinking and pyramid scheming organized by NYC’s Learning Annex, was held at the Jacob Javits Center. Despite the housing bubble’s demise real estate was being served. Speakers who appeared in the flesh included Than Merrill of A&E’s Flip This House and Donald Trump. Also on hand: busty babes in tight tank tops doing a “money dance” to a song with the refrain “Oh Oh I want a pie in the sky!”

The lyrics weren’t a satirical dig at the audience’s aspirations, they were meant to be inspirational.

Many in the audience had lost investment properties and homes to foreclosure, but hoped to get back on the horse. In order to learn the secrets of sky pie they over-extended their credit yet again to buy pricey “wealth system” info packs peddled by financial gurus such as Than Merrill and Barron’s. Hey — no risk involved. The packs could be profitably flipped to other wealth seekers who didn’t attend the Expo and had missed out on the special Expo-only prices. Attendees also got to chow down at a special auction of distressed and/or foreclosed real estate. Held in a windowless room so as to lock out distraction. From his place in space former Fed head Alan Greenspan answered tough economic questions put to him by a soap opera star. Real estate was “unquestionably” one of the best investments “over the long run.” Even if we are going through a “testing period.” Greenspan also suggested — albeit with a laugh — that the audience invest in his book, The Age of Turbulence.

When reading the account of the Expo I had to putLife, Inc. down and check the cover. Had Random House sent me an advance copy of the wrong book? Was this Bonfire of the Vanities Redux? Or had Mark Twain or Jim Thompson risen from the dead to re-skewer American grift? Nope. There was the short sweet titleLife, Inc. Followed by –

How the World Became a Corporation and How To Take It Back

Life, Inc. contains many passages that can be appreciated as black comedy (see the section on The Secret, the best selling self-help system that raises solipsism to new heights) but it’s not all fun and games.Life, Inc. is a relatively small book (244 pages in advance copy) on a very large topic: how and why we’ve devolved into consumers, rather than citizens, in a society dominated by what Rushkoff calls “corporatism.” In the process becoming divorced from ourselves and others, internalizing corporate values and applying them to our relationships and communities. Seeing life through shareholder eyes.

The introduction toLife, Inc. opens with an anecdote by Douglas Rushkoff about being mugged at gunpoint several years ago in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Park Slope. Thinking to alert his neighbors Rushkoff posted news of the mugging on a local Internet list. Instead of receiving thanks for the heads-up, he got angry missives about naming the street where the mugging took place and the potential impact on property values. Those who responded angrily weren’t real estate suits. As Rushkoff puts it, he posted the warning to a “crunchy Internet community of Moms, food co-op members, and other lefty types dedicated to . . . their decidedly progressive, gentrifying neighborhood.”

The mentality described in Rushkoff’s intro is oh so familiar. In my years of city living I often saw gentrifiers sweep crime under the rug. Pressuring local papers to drop police blotter and court docket coverage, leave out street names in crime reportage, and not run crime stories on Sunday. (Aka real estate section day.) By censoring crime info they endangered their neighbors, lured naive buyers into war zones, and helped keep incompetent and/or corrupt pols and cops on the job. Concern for property values trumped concern for public safety as well as the long term benefit of reducing crime by facing it squarely. Which is why I don’t believe home ownership inevitably brings stability to urban neighborhoods. (Another reason is the seemingly intractable prevalence of taxpayer-supported mortgage fraud.) The model for this theory of home ownership predates the era of unreal real estate.

Much has been written about the housing bubble and Wall Street and Washington’s role in pumping it. But few have nailed how abstract and fantastical the housing market, mortgage lending, and mortgage-derived investment became as vividly as Rushkoff does in the chapter ofLife, Inc. titled The Ownership Society: Real Estate and the Disconnect from Home. The depiction of the chimeric daze when home sweet home morphed into mind money evokes Kubla Khan: “It was a miracle of rare device/A sunny pleasure dome with caves of ice.”

(Photo credit: Ben+Sam;
CC BY-SA)

At times, Rushkoff strikes notes reminiscent of social critics such as Christopher Lasch and James Howard Kunstler. Like Lasch, Ruskoff perceives the corrosive effect of consumer society solipsism on community. The Kunstler resonances are less effective. Like Kunstler, Rushkoff socially stereotypes suburbia as a desolate landscape of isolated family units, with each member alienated from the other, locked in gas guzzling SUVs, shuttling endlessly between sterile McMansions and soul crushing mega malls. The falseness of the cliché undercuts Rushkoff’s credibility when he argues that suburban form follows corporate function. He also has a tendency to make sweeping generalizations, ascribing conscious, almost one-mind intent to negative events generated by huge numbers of people acting independently.Life, Inc., which at heart is a critique of dehumanization, too often dehumanizes. Depicting people as Gumbys trapped in a corporate imposed consciousness we may be incapable of recognizing from within. However, Rushkoff has managed to recognize it. When he writes “we” he means “thee.”

That being said,Life, Inc. is a visionary work powered by moral passion and resting on solid historical research. The sections delineating how corporations came to exist and develop a hand in glove relationship with political power are particularly illuminating as our here-and-now government slouches toward oligarchy. AndLife, Inc. is not just a jeremiad; Rushkoff has a plan. Put on the new man — and woman. Think local, trade local. Eat food produced locally. Maybe even establish a local currency. Gouge out your shareholder eyes (figuratively speaking) and get down with your real community self. Stop looking for succor from politicians and big business. Grants be damned! Support your local artist.

Incidentally, do I believe the premise that corporatism has worked a fundamental change on our very being? Nope. But then, I’m a Catholic who believes in fallen nature. I figure the devil is always up to date and from age to age works with whatever we give him.

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

Life, Inc. by Douglas Rushkoff and published by Random House is on sale now. You can also visit Douglas Rushkoff at http://rushkoff.com/

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Hit the road Halloween. For those who loathe politicians (count me in) there’s no more horrific time than the final days of a presidential race. Our flesh creeps as the last candidates standing (sort of) do the Transylvania Twist faster and faster, spinning their true (sort of) beliefs on a dime and contorting themselves into whatever position seems ripe for the moment. We choke back our screams as campaign hacks steam up the screen in Nightmare On Election Street, partisan porn oozing from their lips as they extol, decry, and deny. Then there’s the media blood feast. In every election cycle someone gets made into a monster. Peasants in babushkas and business suits brandish the torch of journalistic truth and storm the castle in search of unpaid parking tickets and slips of the PC lip. Small wonder only ghouls and lawyers run for office. To be dead, to be truly dead, is a blessing when the news hounds come baying.

Not every moment of Nightmare On Election Street is scary. There are dull talky parts. Like when candidates pontificate about their constantly changing Plan 9 From Outer Space. Aka the domestic or foreign policy fixes hatched with the help of retread advisers from prior administrations. Got dud policies? Ones that sent us into Iraq, jazzed NAFTA, or inflated the housing bubble? No problem. The next prez knows who to blame. Igor dropped the brain. And Igor always belongs to the other party.

True, Doc Frankenstein didn’t hire wisely. Candidates with lurching campaigns should learn from his mistakes. And candidates who want to play God must remember that villagers aren’t dead bodies to be harvested. Many still cling to their pitchforks and old-time transcendent religion — as opposed to the worship of government. Taxing can’t be passed off as tithing. Speaking of false appearances. . . .

Here come the brides! More undead than Dracula’s multiple mates! Wives of presidential candidates are real live human beings when campaigns begin. But political consultants, who fear the reaper of public opinion, soon drain their blood. The brides go on walking and smiling and appearing on The View yet they’re no longer alive. If a mirror were held in front of their lips no breath or genuine opinion would show. Thankfully, the effect usually dissipates after the campaign. Spouses of failed candidates have been known to wax colorfully wroth at their mate’s ex-consultants. And one bride, whose hub made it to the White House, even sprang from her coffin and became co-president! Charles Willeford, the late great pulp fiction guy, wrote a book called “New Hope For The Dead.” The subject was crime and corruption in Florida not the reanimation of candidates’ wives. Still, the title applies. And not only to wives.

The word “reanimation” isn’t used in the blasted book of campaign clichés (a tome second only to the Necronomicon on the sorcerer must-have list) because of grave robbing connotations. However, “revitalization” appears frequently. Either in incantations to be delivered by candidates when wooing mayors of cities where corruption is the sole industry and the dead vote in droves, or in broader promises about “growing the economy.” The premise of said promise rests on the impressive success of one Doctor Praetorious (a colleague of Dr. Frankenstein) in growing homunculi in bottles sans reliance on any natural process. Also covered by the blasted book: how to invoke the image of “Average Americans worrying about finances while sitting around the kitchen table.” Though this image evokes La Vida Ralph Kramden rather than the gobble-n-go text message life of today’s overtaxed John and Jane Doe, a good political incantation never dies. It just gets hoarier and hoarier.

By the time a new prez is finally elected voters feel like they’ve walked with an army of zombie hookers, pounding the pavement from coast to coast. Thanks to an extra early start, this particular hike seemed to last forever and ever and ever. Yet the long march is almost over. In a few days we’ll be able to peek through our fingers and see who gets to be the new caretaker of the Overlook Hotel oops White House. Let’s hope the new guy does better than the old guys.

Mister and Miz America — Here’s Johnny/Barry!

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

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The Big Bailout Circus has the nation in stitches. Taxpayers are being sewn into a skin-tight forever suit by an amazingly bipartisan group of government clowns. But despite the agreement about the need for a slap dash redo of the U.S. financial system — and by extension our political system — the designing bozos disagree about details. And none can resist an occasional hit of the rubber chicken . . .

“This sucker WILL go down” fumes President Bush as he yanks the zipper on John Q’s paycheck.

“Further than your approval ratings?” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is quick with the chicken.

Bap! The right hits back with a ref to the toilet numbers of Democrat-controlled Congress.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson needs that toilet. In exchange for Dem support for the bailout flush, Nancy-with-the-laughing-face and Rep Barney Frank demanded, among other things, an affordable housing slush fund. Frank was ready to cram the cash into the baggy pants of assorted “non-profit” clowns. The Volkswagen headed for Mortgage Fraud City is already packed. HUD has made a mega taxpayer contribution* via billions in emergency Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) funds that local pols and players can use to buy foreclosed properties. Slum fun will be had by all. Except the poor. Who luckily, are always with us. Dumb luck? Or systemic corruption and chuckle headed housing policy?

Never never forget that HUD spelled backwards is DUH.

Thuk! Another rubber chicken comes down. Republican clowns in Congress kill the Big Bailout slush fund, fearing non-profits would use it to get out the Dem vote by any means necessary. The cut is part of the Republican’s price for agreeing to indenture U.S. taxpayers to global markets.

Honk-a-dollar! The team of Mac N’ Cheese, aka John McCain and Barack Obama, tumbles into the ring. Each carries a comic valentine for Average Americans. Sometimes called “Folks.” Both guys do a killer routine of cautious caution re the Big Bailout. Both tinker toy with the master plan, albeit in different ways. (Though both agree on the big easy — sock greedy CEOs.) Neither presidential candidate sez dump it Dano, let’s start from scratch. Profiles in courage are so yesterday. Another yesterday thing: Dubya beating the imminent disaster drum. By the time the ballyhooed profits for taxpayers from the bailout prove as imaginary as WMD, Dubya will be back at the ranch. Rounding up memorabilia for yet another presidential museum.

Big Bailout urgency is also drum boogied by the majority of the mainstream press. Dubya is dirt in the eye of most media beholders but taxpayer revolts (except when directed at military spending) are a beam. A nip and tuck of the Bailout is acceptable if done by the same crew who didn’t flag the housing bubble or its derivative trash and who’ve been consistently wrong about how to fix the aftermath. But please, no meddling by the peanut gallery. Or for that matter, by the myriad economists and financial experts who spotted the bad moon rising years ago and issued countless warnings. Few of which got much coverage. Though predictions of non-stop home value appreciation from the National Association of Realtors (NAR) got the gospel choir. Vested interest, much? Speaking of the NAR –

In September, Lawrence Yun, chief economist for the NAR, addressed a gaggle of regional Realtors in Saratoga Springs, New York. Whee! Yun thinks the federal read taxpayer takeover of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will make it easier for prospective homebuyers to get mortgages. (Fannie and Freddie incidentally, are currently under investigation for fraud by the FBI.) But Yun is ticked off at the NAR’s former news media pals — and at Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. Yun sez both have been spreading “negativity”** about the housing market and scaring off buyers. Yun even bapped Ben with a letter saying Ben’s bad mouth was “inappropriate.” Cause people “react to that.” He’d also like to make Alan Greenspan stick to housing happy talk. Alas. Not much can be done on that front. The X Fed head is beyond the reach of Yun’s rubber chicken. Though Greenspan hasn’t escaped seeing his rep go down in flames. Immolated by exploding ARMs.

Meanwhile, back at the Big Bailout Circus, the audience is getting restless. Feet are being stamped and popcorn boxes thrown. Pow! Wham! How long before the amazingly bi-partisan rage of Average Americans (sometimes called “Folks”) erupts into the ring?

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

*Help is on the Way, Center for American Progress, 07/21/08

**Realtors given some reason for optimisim, Chris Churchill, Albany Times Union, 09/16/08

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Pundits are puzzled; why no lasting bounce for Obama post Berlin? He did boffo box office Over There. Evoking Kennedy and Reagan while recasting their image in 21st Century Bland. Back at the ranch John McCain straddled a hog — aka the war in Iraq — while hanging with bikers and firing off negative campaign ads. McCain may be older than Methuselah but he didn’t shoot blanks. The Obama camp cried foul over the Britney/Paris/Barack analogy but the real zinger was Charlton Heston.

For years NRA guy Heston was gun fun for gazillion stand-ups. Turn around was fairly playful in the McCain spot that featured Obama at his most messianic then cut to a shot of Heston as Moses parting the Red Sea. Subliminal image alert: did the split sea symbolize the divide between Dems re Hillary and Barack? Or was the jump-cut from Heston to a mental image of Obama parting a large body of water (a classic female symbol) meant to rile sexual insecurity in white men? According to New York Times columnist Bob Herbert, the ad comparing Barack to Britney and Paris was chock full of racist subtext and phallic symbols. As Freud said, “When correctly viewed everything is lewd.”

Though sometimes it’s just an exploding cigar.

Savvy pols snap jokes back at the cracker. Obama should have gotten into the Moses act — riffing how Republicans, as repped by Bush and McCain, are like unto a plague of locusts. Instead O and crew got seriously pious, calling the McCain ads “juvenile” and “cynical.” The latter being the big bad. Cynicism is a sin in the Age Of Hope. But cynics won’t go gently into the goody good night. . . .

Q: Wouldn’t President Obama and his robe riders mine the same bottomless pit of taxpayer money as President McCain and his cronies? And wield the same amount of insufficiently limited power?

A: Though the operational circumstances of an Obama administration would be the same, the outcome would be different because the intentions would be pure and guided by correct ideology.

The Peep’s Lawyer Speaks

The national stage isn’t the only place where cynicism is denounced. On July 22nd a crowd gathered at Albany High in Albany, New York (the state capital) to hear State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo give a speech about listening to the community. The event, which I attended, was part of the statewide (and state funded) Community Partnership Initiative, a project aimed at making the AG’s office more community friendly. Workshops were to be held after Cuomo’s speech under the aegis of officials from various departments. Since a slew of major political scandals have erupted in New York and Albany is the seat of state government, I figured a workshop on public corruption would be on the bill. Alas. No such. Mortgage fraud didn’t rate either. Even though New York ranks in the top ten states for the crime.

Mortgage fraud leads to waves of foreclosures that devastate neighborhoods. These days even folks who thought fraud was a wink-wink way to boost property values are concerned about foreclosures. Inner city nabes in Albany have been hit hard by mortgage fraud. Why no workshop? As said, the Community Partnership event was held at Albany High. The school has a record of violent incidents. The city has street crime problems. A 10 year old girl was recently killed by a stray bullet. Yet no workshops on gangs or drug trade were held either.

The local pols on stage with Cuomo were Democratic big wigs. The community as represented by the audience seemed heavily weighted with employees of state, county, and municipal governments and non-profit agencies. Well seasoned neighborhood activists were also present. Before Cuomo spoke the wigs made speeches. Including Albany Mayor Jerry Jennings and Albany County Executive Michael Breslin. Mayor Jennings (a former principal of Albany High) looked as tan and fit as ever and was as enthusiastic about the community coming together to solve problems as he’s been for 15 years. Providing problem solving doesn’t involve “being critical.” Because “pointing fingers doesn’t work.”

County Exec Mike Breslin struck a stern note. Expressing concern over the widespread perception of state government as dysfunctional. Saying if “we’re not careful we become cynics.” That Breslin included himself in the “we” made his warning all the more powerful. If such a venerable machine pol is in danger of becoming a cynic what hope is there for the average citizen?

Andrew Cuomo also addressed the cynicism issue. But first he tipped his hat to the pols who proceeded him. When giving Mayor Jennings the tip, Cuomo made a light reference to the 100 million bucks he’d delivered to Jennings when he (Cuomo) headed the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) in the Clinton administration. Someone sitting behind me hissed to a friend “I’d like to know where it all went.” More proof (as if it were needed) of how pervasive cynicism has become!

Cuomo acknowledged that given recent events New Yorkers might have “good cause” for feeling negative about government and declared that a “lack of integrity” in public servants wasn’t acceptable. But according to Cuomo this “snapshot of cynicism” isn’t what New York State government is really about. He rhapsodized about the architectural grandeur of Albany’s many government buildings and how they symbolize the power and the glory of government. Cuomo’s rhetoric soared as he invoked the noble mission of politicians. I swan — it was almost like being in church. If cops hadn’t lined the aisles I wouldn’t have been shocked to see the government community holy rolling and speaking in tongues.

Cuomo did talk about other subjects. For instance, he described himself and his office as the “people’s lawyer” and urged the audience to “use us.” The 20 or so unaffiliated citizens in the room made note of the invitation. You never know when a fender bender might turn ugly.

Seriously folks, what’s with the anti-cynicism theme? Do pols fear the sneer is a sword aimed at the wack belief that government is way more than a necessary evil? Yet can’t be expected to provide basic services? To quote presidential candidate Paris Hilton: whatever. The cynics, united, can never be defeated!

Incidentally, workshops at the Community Partnership forum included ones on environmental protection, consumer issues, and Internet safety. The latter was addressed by several speakers. Albany County Exec Mike Breslin lauded Attorney General Andrew Cuomo for “protecting us and our children from pornography.” Cuomo’s comments on child porn included a denunciation of Internet anonymity.

Kiddie porn purveyors and users are scum. Still, I suspect pols want to crack down on Internet anonymity for a whole host of reasons. But then — I’m a cynic.

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

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Spring segued into Summer with Hillary Clinton’s white wedding. The hot wack was on as Milady Hill rolled in Joe Sixpack’s arms moaning how Joe wouldn’t go for O. The real wild thing? Mrs. Joe wasn’t jealous. She didn’t dis Hill like Hill’s pals did Bill’s gals. Trailer trash no sirree. Hillary, who served copious globaloney during her years as co-president, is a stand up rep for blue collar interests.

Ain’t nothing madder than mad love. Unless it’s mad mortgage fraud.

Back in April (it seems like an eon of Clinton ago!) FBI Director Robert Mueller gave a speech to the American Bar Association titled “Corporate Fraud and Public Corruption: Are We Becoming More Crooked?” The question was left open. Mueller wrapped up with a Teddy Roosevelt quote: “Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual, and of nations alike.”

A few weeks later the FBI released their 2007 Mortgage Fraud Report. Illustrated with pics of slums featuring wall-to-wall rubble, bare slats, and torn out toilets. The dumps were dubbed “recently renovated condos” by appraisers who ascribed fantastic values. “Granite countertops” and “Brazilian hardwood” were cited. You know the bigger picture. They call it the housing bubble. Folks making chicken feed qualified for half-a-mil mortgages sans down payment. No-doc loans made lying easy. Teaser interest rates and deferred mortgage principle payments did the same for flipping. Realtors, brokers, and lenders embraced inflated appraisals and encouraged big eye buyers. Wall Street securitized the paper. Lap dog agencies rated it. The debt underlying gazillion derivatives grew ever crappier. Finally Ponzi popped.

Not all is doomster. According to the FBI mortgage fraud is going strong and adapting to the current market. Since more lenders now check credit records, mortgage fraudsters are increasingly relying on identity theft. Foreclosure rescue scams are also big. Perhaps both trends will end if the Housing Rescue bill passed in May by the Senate Banking Committee goes into effect and credit standards sink ‘neath a wave of underwater mortgages. The rescue goes this way: failing mortgages would be refinanced at better terms by lenders holding the paper. Among other things, they’d knock at least 15% off the original amount. Lender participation would be voluntary. Having their dud loans covered by government would be the incentive. Billions of dollars worth of refi would be insured by the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) using $500 million in funds channeled from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Since FHA money wouldn’t be at risk the Housing Rescue plan is being touted as taxpayer friendly. Quel shell game. Establishing a major new HUD mission (the FHA is a HUD sub) will cost taxpayers plenty. HUD never sez mission accomplished so operating costs will be forever. Particularly since a third of the rescue fund will eventually flow into a HUD-directed affordable housing initiative. Then there’s the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac connection.

Fannie and Freddie are Government Sponsored Enterprises (GSEs). Though publicly owned they’re government poodles. The GSEs buy and securitize mortgages. The assumption is that taxpayers will bail them out should disaster strike. Fannie and Freddie have an extensive history of book juggling and in the last 3 quarters lost $11.1 billion combined. Yet they’re being cast as the financiers of assorted housing bailout schemes and as the prop for sagging high-end markets. The cap on the price Fannie and Freddie can pay for mortgages was recently lifted and Congress has relaxed requirements for their capital cushion. (Aka safety net.) The Housing Rescue plan passed by the Senate Banking Committee has to be reconciled with an even zanier plan hatched in the House of Representatives. A bill could be on Dubya’s desk by July 4th. Bring it on. If a load of steaming defaults hit the fan (and fred) taxpayers will know…

What Happened

In May, former White House press secretary Scott McClellan brought forth his tell-all book. Alt title: Why Are We in Iraq. Oh no! We were sold a bill of goods by a president for whom lies become truth when told with conviction. His vision of mushroom clouds clouded our vision. The real reason for Iraq? The neocon notion that democratization by force would bring reform to the entire MidEast. When the plan didn’t pan we got stuck twixt a rock and a hard place. Five years and counting. Bodies and billions.

On June 4th the Washington Post ran an article by Dana Milbank about Hillary Clinton’s non-concession speech after Barack Obama clinched the Democratic presidential nomination. Titled “In Defeat, Clinton Graciously Pretends to Win.”

In election years responsibility for the national condition gets laid squarely on the sitting or outgoing president. Candidates embrace or reject the admin’s record depending on political circumstances and depict the public as needing more of a good thing or succor from a bad. It’s as if the public were a bump on a log and the prez was a ruler rather than representative leader. The public doesn’t do enough to disabuse pols. Take the housing rescue thing. When candidates inveigh against predatory lenders and choke up over hardworking-Americans-facing-foreclosure nobody ever raises a hand and says, “Pardon me, but I resent being painted as a hapless Gumby. I actively lied about my income on my mortgage app in order to buy more house than I could afford and hid the fact that my downpayment was supplied by the seller. A whole lot of people in my nabe did the same. So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”

Then there’s the Iraq war.

One night in early 2003, Dick Cheney and Karl Rove stole into homes across America and sprinkled zombie powder over the residents. President Bush was in DC watching on Homeland Security TV. Next day when folks awoke, newsmedia war drums were beating. (It’s important to remember that members of the fifth estate feared for their careers in the face of patriotic fervor and Bush’s poll numbers.) Still, questions about the wisdom of invading Iraq and the reality of Saddam as nuclear threat or 9/11 co-conspirator were being raised on the Internet by credible members of the military, intelligence, and foreign policy communities. The ideological reason for the Iraq war was also being discussed by neocon pundits and their critics. Though all this info was readably available to the enormous number of Americans who were online by 2003, the zombie powder made them forget how to use their computers.

After the powder wore off and people saw the Iraq mission wasn’t accomplished they put Bush’s numbers in the toilet and echoed Hillary Clinton re her vote in the Senate to give him war power. Saying “if I knew then what I know now.” More hindsight: Hillary shouldn’t have bought more presidential campaign than she could afford. Barack may have to help retire her debt. No mention of tapping taxpayers. Yet.

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

Sources include but are not limited to:

Haggling on the Hill, The Economist, 05/22/08

Housing Rescue Plan Passed, John E. Mulligan, Washington Bureau, Providence Journal, 05/21/08

Senators say have deal on housing rescue bill, Patrick Rucker, Reuters, 05/19/08

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A raw March morning in Albany. The wind whistled round the Empire State Asylum for the Politically Insane. Dr. Edwards, the new chief of staff, was making his first tour of the facility. Dr. Murchison, his predecessor, was acting as guide. First up, the day room. X Governor Eliot Spitzer had slipped his restraints and was running amuck. Several orderlies were trying to tackle him. But Spitzer was as nimble as a he-goat. Springing to a table top, he kicked a game of checkers into the laps of State Senate majority leader Joe Bruno (R) and Assembly speaker Sheldon Silver (D). The two were deep in a dream of divine right; a not uncommon condition in places where pols hang together forever. Those who hang separately have other problems…

“Welcome to my nightmare,” cackled Spitzer as he stripped to his socks in a split second. “Begone lewd varlet,” commanded Bruno and Silver. The orderlies made a grab for Spitzer’s legs but the Luv Guv (as the nurses called him) evaded their grasp. With a spray of spittle and a cry of Hi Yo Silver, he sprang at the state reps. Silver dodged neatly. Bruno didn’t. Spitzer landed on him full force, rassling him to the ground, screaming something about helicopters, a hot poker, and the senator’s posterior. A nurse jumped into the fray and jabbed Spitz with a mega dose of horse tranquilizer. That did the trick. The orderlies wrapped Spitz in canvas and stood him in a corner right next to current Governor David Paterson. Paterson didn’t notice. He was busy broadcasting his extramarital affairs through a megaphone made from a rolled-up newspaper. A crowd of inmates pretending to be reporters took notes with invisible pencils. “I’m from the Albany Times-Union,” shrieked one, “and we were not used by Spitzer!”*

“It’s not like this all the time,” apologized Doctor Murchison, “the moon must be full.”

On the sun porch things were quieter. U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton was seated at a desk by the window, making notes on a legal pad. (Patients well enough to be on the porch were allowed to have pencils.) The pad was bulging with pages of closely written notes. Hillary suffered from a form of Napoleon Syndrome. She believed she was entitled to be president. Her belief was buttressed by a complex delusional system, including the conviction she’d already been POTUS. Albeit secretly. Like Pope Joan.

“What are you working on today, Madam President?” asked Doctor Murchison.

“My plan to fix the housing crisis,” said Hillary, without looking up.

Muchison and Edwards looked over her shoulder at the notes, half expecting to see the phrase “all work and no play makes Hill a dull girl” repeated again and again. But no. Hillary had indeed been working on a housing fix. Taxpayers, in the form of the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) would “stand ready”** to spend billions upon billions to buy, restructure, and resell failed mortgages. The fix would be “designed to be self-financing over time — so it would cost taxpayers nothing in the long run.”

“Note the patient’s inability to realistically conceptualize time,” hissed Dr. Murchison to Dr. Edwards, “and her disconnect from the immediate financial needs of wage earners.”

But Edwards didn’t hear Murchison’s comments, so startled was he by another aspect of Hillary’s plan. Her fix was to be guided by a group of economic experts headed by Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan and former U.S. Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin, chairman of the board at Citigroup.

Dr. Edwards had been on staff at the National Subprime Lending and Derivative Disease Center, so he was familiar with the role Alan Greenspan, via his interest rate cuts and inability to confront lenders, had played in creating the epidemic known as the Housing Bubble and its secondary manifestation, the Credit Crunch. As for Robert Rubin–! Before becoming chairman of the board at Citigroup, Rubin had been chairman of the executive committee. Top exec Rubin snoozed while CDO sickness metastasized. Massive write-offs and write-downs of CDOs and other mortgage related debt gave Citi the shakes in 2007. First quarter prognosis 2008? Not looking great.

Then there was Citi’s bailout of Ameriquest Mortgage, as facilitated by Robert Rubin at the behest of Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick. Patrick was a former board member at ACC Capital, Ameriquest’s parent company. Ameriquest was a top subprime lender, with a predatory record. They did business in 49 states: attorneys general in all 49 sued. Ameriquest settled in 2006, but admitted no wrongdoing. The settlement required, among other things, that Ameriquest not encourage borrowers to lie about their incomes. By early 2007, Ameriquest was coming apart. After Patrick contacted Robert Rubin, Citi kicked in a capital infusion and line of credit. The deal raised eyebrows because Citi did extensive business with the State of Massachusetts. After Ameriquest folded, Citi acquired chunks of ACC Capital, including Ameriquest’s wholesale origination lending unit, Argent Mortgage. Argent is now at the center of a major mortgage fraud prosecution in Florida, with prime players based in New York State.

“Sick sick sick,” thought Dr. Edwards as he eyed Hillary’s housing fix. He conveyed his diagnosis to Dr. Murchison by making a whirling motion near his head with his finger. Murchison nodded and mouthed, “back to the day room.”

Hillary seemed to sense something amiss. She ducked her head down close to the desk. Her eyes darted back and forth. “Damn those snipers,” she said to an imaginary entourage, “this was only supposed to be a greeting ceremony. Kiss the baby, grab the flowers and go.”

Suddenly Hillary leaped to her feet. Bending low to the floor (in her mind, the tarmac of an airport in Bosnia) she bolted for the door. Murchison pressed a buzzer on the wall. Edwards took note of where it was located. He had a feeling he’d be needing it. NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg had just entered, carrying his Congestion Pricing Plan.

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

*‘Times Union’ State Editor: We Were Not Used By Spitzer, Joe Strupp, Editor & Publisher, 03/24/08

**Clinton proposes Greenspan lead foreclosure group, Jeff Mason, Reuters, 03/24/08

Sources include but are not limited to:

Update: Citi To Post Deeper-Than-Expected 1Q Loss: Oppenheimer, Ed Welsch, Dow Jones Newswires, CNN, 03/26/08

Former Vice President, Account Executive of Subprime Mortgage Lender Charged with Racketeering, Mortgage Fraud, and Grand Theft, News Release: Office of the Attorney General of Florida, 03/25/08

Charges announced in fraud case involving Argent, Sunstate, Tampa Bay Business Journal, 03/25/08

The Housing Crash Recession: How Did We Get Here?, Dean Baker, NOW on PBS, Week of 3/21/08

Robert Rubin on the job he never wanted, Carol Loomis, Fortune/CNNMoney.com, 11/27/07

Governor made call on behalf of lender, Frank Phillips, Boston Globe, 03/06/07

Millions to settle loan abuse, Kathleen Pender, San Francisco Chronicle, 01/24/06

Workers Say Lender Ran ‘Boiler Rooms’, Mike Hudson, E. Scott Reckard, Los Angeles Times, 02/04/05

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Albany. The capital of New York. The heart of state government. Can’t you feel the rhythm of the beat? Lub dub lub dub. Pols who make it there, don’t need to go anywhere — they can stay in Albany forever and ever and ever. The governor’s mansion is akin to the hotel in “The Shining.” After taking over, the new guy always goes barmy. He doesn’t even have to live in it. Just throw an occasional reception.

Take Governor Eliot Spitzer. “Please” says state Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno. Republican Bruno has been on the political scene since the days of Nelson Rockefeller and the Twist. There may be snow on Bruno’s roof, but there’s fire in his furnace for Governor Spitzer. Last year, Spitzer’s office launched a wack attack on Bruno that unspooled into the mess known as “Troopergate.” Which a few wishful thinkers in New York City call “Choppergate.” Whatevergate, the way isn’t straight.

Democrat Eliot Spitzer began his first term last January, after winning big by promising to reform state government. The Republican machine did its bit for Spitz by running a wooden old boy with no name recognition downstate. (Lub dub lub dub.) Spitzer’s theme was “Day One: Everything Changes.” On day two, the governor’s closest aides set out to Get Bruno. The op involved having state troopers who provide security for Bruno, keep tabs on his trips in state-owned helicopters to self-serving political events. Reports on Bruno’s trips were leaked by Spitzer’s office to the Albany Times Union in response to an extraordinarily well timed Freedom of Information request. Bruno’s flights on the taxpayer dime made headlines. The op which put them there made more headlines, in more places. State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo investigated, without direct testimony by Spitzer or his aides. Cuomo issued a report that criticized the Spitzer camp for spying and Bruno for flying, but declared no crimes weren’t committed.

All this occurred in the Summer of 2007. Since then, other investigations into Troopergate have been launched. Senator Bruno continues to wax righteous over the ethical evil of Spitzer et al. In between expressing confidence that an FBI investigation into his (Bruno’s) contributors, bidness deals, and union connections will come to naught. (The federal investigation incidentally, has gone on forever and ever and ever.) Meanwhile, Governor Spitzer waxes wroth at reporters who ask about Troopergate rather than his righteous agenda. In between denying that he knew what his closest aides were up to, and expressing willingness to testify under oath at some future time.

An investigation by the Public Integrity Commission, a body heavy with Spitzer appointees, is moving slowly. (Lub dub lub dub.) The Republican controlled Senate Investigations Committee wants to go faster. Governor Spitzer’s attorney is trying to quash their subpoenas.

As time passes, it gets harder and harder to keep track of who did what. But polls show that New Yorkers continue to believe Governor Spitzer should testify under oath and are disappointed that Day One brought more of the same old. After all, is anything more hoary than stalling for time in hopes of obfuscating scandals? And when machine pols mud-wrestle for power can anyone believe a change is gonna come?

Troopergate is only one manifestation of what ails New York State.

New York is number 2 national gouger for combined state and local taxes. When Wall Street sneezes, the state’s economy has a heart attack. Manufacturing continues its long goodbye. Revitalization of post-industrial upstate is always just around the corner of more taxpayer “investment” and corporate crony welfare. If it weren’t for immigrants coming to NYC, the state’s population would be shrinking. The middle class is leaving the state, seeking better jobs, and housing that isn’t wildly inflated and property taxed to the max. The answer for every problem in New York State is government government government — working in tandem with immensely powerful quasi-public agencies and authorities that are largely unanswerable to the citizens who fund them.

With its short-sighted entrenched machines, cheesy partisan warfare, and authoritarian bent, New York State is Clinton Country. The perfect staging area for Operation Take Back the Presidency. But even in a home where dinosaurs roam, Barack Obama has sparked the desire for something better. Whether Obama takes New York State or not, his on-fire candidacy marks a turning point. The importance of some candidates rests on their ability to embody a beneficial sea change in public attitude, and by doing so, make the imperative for that change crystal clear.

Go Obama go.

But please, don’t do a Spitzer down the road.

Then there are the transformational candidates who press ideas that can renew political systems, but which need more time to take root and develop. Such people tend not to be the one who ultimately gets the job of delivering the good(s). Nonetheless, their contribution is priceless.

Thank you, Ron Paul.

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

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[Editor's note: Hillary Clinton took 57% of the vote in Tuesday's New York Democratic primary. Barack Obama received 40% of the vote. Each will receive delegates proportional to the number of votes they received. In New York's winner-take-all Republican primary, John McCain won with 51% of the vote, and Ron Paul got 7%. The editor is a staunch supporter of Ron Paul.]