When neoconservative Ben Stein accused Congressman Ron Paul of being antisemitic for merely wanting to ask WHY Islamic terrorists want to attack the civilians living under western governments that have meddled in the Mideast, the members of the Conspiracy could not sit by silently.

In this production, Gardner Goldsmith and the Zigster discuss the injection of UK and US interests in the Mideast, and how critically studying such activity is NOT antisemitic.

We hope you enjoy this production. It’s timely and offers a great deal of historical perspective!

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[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

On Thursday, February 18, a man flew his plane into a building housing an office of the IRS, which had been taking his money for years without his consent.

In this valuable Conspiracy production, Gardner Goldsmith investigates the contemporary views of such violence. Is it self defense? It is justified to stop the theft? What does one consider “just” government and “consent”?

It’s a fascinating production, and is combined with a look at the term terrorism, and how it is often incorrectly defined.

Please listen, and pass the links on to friends!

Call us at 206-984-1069 to discuss your ideas on it!

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[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

It’s tax season again. And for many of us, the idea of doing taxes and giving the IRS the pound of flesh they demand is a harrowing thought. One Austin, Texas, man, claiming to have been fed up with being ripped off by the IRS for over 20 years, flew a small plane into a building containing the local IRS office Thursday morning.

Joseph Andrew Stack, 53, flew a Piper Cherokee PA-28 into the side of the Echelon 1 building at 9430 Research Drive at around 10 a.m. Central time. According to FAA officials, the plane took off from nearby Georgetown Municipal Airport at about 9:40.

Stack was killed in the resulting explosion. Two people in the building were injured, and one person is unaccounted for, according to reports. The IRS said it is still trying to account for its 190 employees who were in the building at the time. News reports disagree on whether firefighters have been able to bring the building fire under control.

A lengthy diatribe posted to Stack’s web site this morning, since taken down at the request of the FBI, revealed that Stack suffered what he considered years of abuse by the IRS and laws meant to harm businesses like his, noting that “this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I let it.”

Stack’s apparent suicide note speaks of the irony of stockbrokers killing themselves after the 1929 crash, while after the 2007 crash the wealthy get bailed out at the expense of the poor, who pay for it all. (This much is true.)

“I know I’m hardly the first one to decide I’ve had all I can stand. . . . I can only hope that the numbers get too big to be white washed and ignored that the American zombies wake up and revolt; it will take nothing less.”

Federal officials are saying they do not consider this a terrorist attack. “At this time, we have no reason to believe there is a nexus to terrorist activity,” says a Department of Homeland Security news release.

Before leaving for the airport this morning, Stack set his home on fire, according to local officials. Worse, he apparently set the fire while his wife and daughter were away, leaving them shocked and distraught when they returned home to find it on fire.

It’s easy to understand what drove Stack over the edge: “In a government full of hypocrites from top to bottom, life is as cheap as their lies and their self-serving laws.” He makes a number of legitimate complaints about the U.S. government, grievances which we all suffer and are all unlikely to see redressed any time soon.

But Stack seems to think that if enough people kill themselves in government offices, perhaps taking some bureaucrats with them, the rest of the country will “wake up and begin to see the pompous political thugs and mindless minions for what they are.” Violence, he concludes, “not only is the answer, it is the only answer.”

I must disagree: Few people woke up after September 11; in fact, that event put nearly everyone to sleep. But the continuing decline of the U.S. economy which began in earnest in 2007 and shows no signs of stopping certainly began to wake people up.

Those of you who are desperate, understand first that you aren’t alone, and there are ways out of this mess which don’t involve killing yourself or IRS agents. A good place to begin would be to learn the economics behind how we were all taken for a ride. Then you can recognize and denounce the people who want to do more of the same to you. There is a way out, and it’s called liberty. Learn the philosophy of liberty, why it is the only way to have real prosperity, and then join the rest of us who are working hard for a free society.

I am extremely concerned over current US policy toward Yemen, which I believe will backfire and leave the United States less safe and much poorer. Increasing US involvement in Yemen may be sold as a fight against terrorism, but in fact it is more about expanding US government control and influence over this strategically-placed nation at the gateway to Asia.

The current administration, according to today’s testimony of Assistant Secretary of State Jeffrey Feltman, has dramatically increased foreign aid to Yemen, from $17 million in FY 2008 to $40 million in FY 2009, to $67 million for FY 2010, to, according to the president’s recent budget sent to Congress, $106 million for FY 2011. That represents an incredible six-fold increase in US aid to Yemen over just four years, at a time when the US economy continues to falter.

When I look at the US assistance plan for Yemen I see that it is primarily focused on nation-building. That is the failed idea that if the United States sends enough money to a foreign government, with which that government purchases US-manufactured weapons and hires US-based consultants and non-governmental organizations, that country will achieve a strong economy and political stability and in gratitude will become eternally friendly to the US and US interests. I have yet to see a single successful example of this strategy.

According to Assistant Secretary Feltman’s statement, “Priorities for U.S. assistance include political and fiscal reforms and meaningful attention to legitimate internal grievances; better governance through decentralization, reduced corruption and civil service reform; human rights protections; jobs-related training; economic diversification to generate employment and enhance livelihoods, and strengthened natural resource management.” How can we believe that the US government can achieve abroad what we know it cannot effectively achieve at home? We are going to spend millions of dollars to help create jobs in Yemen as we continue to shed jobs in the United States?

Yemen is a country mired in civil conflict. The Shi’ites in the north, who make up a significant percentage of the country’s total population and a majority in their region, have been fighting against what they see as the discriminatory policies of the Sunni-based government in the capitol, Sana’a, for years. Yemenis in the south, who up until 1990 were a separate country, likewise oppose the central government and threaten to escalate this opposition. Added into this mix are elements of what are called al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP), some of whom are left over from the US-supported fight against the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980s, and others have been radicalized by their exposure to Wahhabi extremism in US-allied Saudi Arabia. Still others in AQAP are veterans of the insurgency against US occupation of Iraq. We cannot forget either those Yemenis who were held for years by the United States without charges at Guantanamo Bay. How many of those were innocent of terrorist actions or intent but became radicalized under such conditions?

Saudi Arabia’s concern over the Shi’ite unrest in north Yemen has led to unsubstantiated claims of Iranian involvement in attempt to draw the US into a regional problem that has nothing to do with the United States. Saudi Arabia has struggled with unrest among its own Shi’ite population and is determined to prevent any spill-over. There are some here in the US who repeat false claims of Iranian involvement in the hope of expanding the US military presence in the area. Others in the United States irresponsibly call for a US pre-emptive war in Yemen. We should be clear on this: expanded US involvement in Yemen plays into the hands of bin Laden and his organization as has been made clear on many occasions. Luring the United States into a conflict in Yemen by falsely advertising it part of a war on terror will certainly radicalize the Yemeni population against the United States. It will weaken our over-extended military and it will further destroy our economy.

Similarly, the US-backed central government in Sana’a stands to gain by claiming its internal problems are part of a global crisis that requires US intervention. The central Yemeni government has much to gain by making its battles and its problems our battles and our problems. But that gain will come at the expense of US soldiers, US security, and the American economy. I wonder how long it will be before the US establishes a permanent base on the strategic territory of Yemen?

I hope, as we begin to debate the foreign affairs budget for next year, that we may yet change course from that of the last administration, where the failed policies of interventionism, militarism, and nation-building have left the United States in a diminished position in the world.

["Yemen - Mosque in Sanaa" photo by Niklas Schiffler; CC BY 2.5]

The Christmas Day attempt to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight over Detroit has shown exactly how ineffective most of the post-September 11 security measures have been in providing actual security, even as passengers flying in its aftermath experience even more stringent security theater.

“The system has worked really very, very smoothly over the course of the past several days,” Homeland Security secretary Janet Napolitano said Sunday in media interviews. “In many ways, this system has worked.”

Today she backed off of those assertions. “Our system did not work in this instance,” she told NBC. “No one is happy with that.”

Now that many of the details of what took place have emerged, we can see exactly how this so-called security failed.

Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab, 23, of Nigeria, attempted to detonate a powerful explosive sewn into his underwear while on Northwest Airlines flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit as the flight was preparing to land Christmas Day. His chemical detonator failed to set off the explosive, and the passengers and flight crew put out the fire and restrained him.

It is currently believed that AbdulMutallab was radicalized while at university in London. He is alleged to have traveled to Yemen earlier this year for terrorist training, and at the time told his family that he was cutting off all ties with them. In recent years Yemen has emerged as a terrorist hotbed which its government has been unable to control, leading the United States to lend military assistance.

At the time, his parents reported his behavior to the U.S. embassy in Lagos, Nigeria, and he was placed in the Terrorist Identities Datamart Environment database, which contains pretty much everything the U.S. knows about known or suspected terrorists. Much of the information in the database is incomplete and inaccurate. Despite the fact that AbdulMutallab had a valid U.S. visa, which should have caused his information to be forwarded to the Terrorist Screening Center for possible inclusion in the selectee list or no-fly list, this did not take place.

On Christmas Eve, AbdulMutallab returned to Lagos and bought a ticket to Detroit via Amsterdam. The Homeland Security database gave him the green light to fly.

It’s long been known that current airport security measures are woefully incapable of stopping a determined attacker from bringing explosives through security and onto a plane.

And the heightened security measures in effect for the last few days, while they might or might not have stopped this particular attack, are much like closing the barn door after the horse gets out.

The only two things that have actually improved aviation security, says security expert Bruce Schneier, are reinforced cockpit doors and passengers who resist attempted attacks. “This week, the second one worked over Detroit,” he wrote.

None of the security measures that actually work require the massive Homeland Security bureaucracy, the nearly irreversible loss of privacy and freedom, the misidentification of thousands of innocent Americans as potential terrorists, or even taking off your shoes.

The biggest failure of all, of course, is the one nobody is talking about: the U.S. foreign policy of interfering in the Middle East and manufacturing terrorists out of thin air by making enemies of ordinary people. Until the U.S. changes its foreign policy, expect more terrorist attacks.

Given the fact that most of the many layers of “security” the government provides are ineffective, useless, or just simple security theater, it’s going to be up to the rest of us to provide for our own security, as best we can.

["Schiphol Plaza" photo by Shirley de Jong; CC BY-SA 2.5]

Join us as we check in with fellow Conspirators in the US, Australia and the UK, and look at issues such as Global Warming myths, the Queen, Donnie Darko, and Albert Jay Nock!

It’s all here for you to take a listen, whether you be at your computer, in your car, or on a plane. Thanks for battling for freedom! Call our hotline at 206-984-1069 to offer your thoughts on ANYTHING!

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["Cap and Traitor" photo by MeetTheCrazies; CC BY 2.0]

Statement of Congressman Ron Paul

United States House of Representatives

Statement Before Foreign Affairs Committee

December 10, 2009

Mr. Speaker thank you for holding these important hearings on US policy in Afghanistan. I would like to welcome the witnesses, Ambassador Karl W. Eikenberry and General Stanley A. McChrystal, and thank them for appearing before this Committee.

I have serious concerns, however, about the president’s decision to add some 30,000 troops and an as yet undisclosed number of civilian personnel to escalate our Afghan operation. This “surge” will bring US troop levels to approximately those of the Soviets when they occupied Afghanistan with disastrous result back in the 1980s. I fear the US military occupation of Afghanistan may end up similarly unsuccessful.

In late 1986 Soviet armed forces commander, Marshal Sergei Akhromeev, told then-Soviet General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev, “Military actions in Afghanistan will soon be seven years old. There is no single piece of land in this country which has not been occupied by a Soviet soldier. Nonetheless, the majority of the territory remains in the hands of rebels.” Soon Gorbachev began the Soviet withdrawal from its Afghan misadventure. Thousands were dead on both sides, yet the occupation failed to produce a stable national Afghan government.

Eight years into our own war in Afghanistan the Soviet commander’s words ring eerily familiar. Part of the problem stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of the situation. It is our presence as occupiers that feeds the insurgency. As would be the case if we were invaded and occupied, diverse groups have put aside their disagreements to unify against foreign occupation. Adding more US troops will only assist those who recruit fighters to attack our soldiers and who use the US occupation to convince villages to side with the Taliban.

Proponents of the president’s Afghanistan escalation cite the successful “surge” in Iraq as evidence that this second surge will have similar results. I fear they might be correct about the similar result, but I dispute the success propaganda about Iraq. In fact, the violence in Iraq only temporarily subsided with the completion of the ethnic cleansing of Shi’ites from Sunni neighborhoods and vice versa — and all neighborhoods of Christians. Those Sunni fighters who remained were easily turned against the foreign al-Qaeda presence when offered US money and weapons. We are increasingly seeing this “success” breaking down: sectarian violence is flaring up and this time the various groups are better armed with US-provided weapons. Similarly, the insurgents paid by the US to stop their attacks are increasingly restive now that the Iraqi government is no longer paying bribes on a regular basis. So I am skeptical about reports on the success of the Iraqi surge.

Likewise, we are told that we have to “win” in Afghanistan so that al-Qaeda cannot use Afghan territory to plan further attacks against the US. We need to remember that the attack on the United States on September 11, 2001 was, according to the 9/11 Commission Report, largely planned in the United States (and Germany) by terrorists who were in our country legally. According to the logic of those who endorse military action against Afghanistan because al-Qaeda was physically present, one could argue in favor of US airstrikes against several US states and Germany! It makes no sense. The Taliban allowed al-Qaeda to remain in Afghanistan because both had been engaged, with US assistance, in the insurgency against the Soviet occupation.

Nevertheless, the president’s National Security Advisor, Gen. James Jones, USMC (Ret.), said in a recent interview that less than 100 al-Qaeda remain in Afghanistan and that the chance they would reconstitute a significant presence there was slim. Are we to believe that 30,000 more troops are needed to defeat 100 al-Qaeda fighters? I fear that there will be increasing pressure for the US to invade Pakistan, to where many Taliban and al-Qaeda have escaped. Already CIA drone attacks on Pakistan have destabilized that country and have killed scores of innocents, producing strong anti-American feelings and calls for revenge. I do not see how that contributes to our national security.

The president’s top advisor for Afghanistan and Pakistan, Richard Holbrooke, said recently, “I would say this about defining success in Afghanistan and Pakistan. In the simplest sense, the Supreme Court test for another issue, we’ll know it when we see it.” That does not inspire much confidence.

Supporters of this surge argue that we must train an Afghan national army to take over and strengthen the rule and authority of Kabul. But experts have noted that the ranks of the Afghan national army are increasingly being filled by the Tajik minority at the expense of the Pashtun plurality. US diplomat Matthew Hoh, who resigned as Senior Civilian Representative for the U.S. Government in Zabul Province, noted in his resignation letter that he “fail[s] to see the value or the worth in continued U.S. casualties or expenditures of resources in support of the Afghan government in what is, truly, a 35-year old civil war.” Mr. Hoh went on to write that “[L]ike the Soviets, we continue to secure and bolster a failing state, while encouraging an ideology and system of government unknown and unwanted by [the Afghan] people.”

I have always opposed nation-building as unconstitutional and ineffective. Afghanistan is no different. Without a real strategy in Afghanistan, without a vision of what victory will look like, we are left with the empty rhetoric of the last administration that “when the Afghan people stand up, the US will stand down.” I am afraid the only solution to the Afghanistan quagmire is a rapid and complete US withdrawal from that country and the region. We cannot afford to maintain this empire and our occupation of these foreign lands is not making us any safer. It is time to leave Afghanistan.

If anyone still doubted that this administration’s foreign policy would bring any kind of change, this week’s debate on Afghanistan should remove all doubt. The President’s stated justifications for sending more troops to Afghanistan and escalating war amount to little more than recycling all the false reasons we began the conflict. It is so discouraging to see this coming from our new leadership, when the people were hoping for peace. New polls show that 49 percent of the people favor minding our own business on the world stage, up from 30 percent in 2002. Perpetual war is not solving anything. Indeed continually seeking out monsters to destroy abroad only threatens our security here at home as international resentment against us builds. The people understand this and are becoming increasingly frustrated at not being heard by the decision-makers. The leaders say some things the people want to hear, but change never comes.

One has to ask, if the people who elected these leaders so obviously do not want these wars, who does? Eisenhower warned of the increasing power and influence of the military industrial complex and it seems his worst fears have come true. He believed in a strong national defense, as do I, but warned that the building up of permanent military and weapons industries could prove dangerous if their influence got out of hand. After all, if you make your money on war, peace does you no good. With trillions of dollars at stake, there is tremendous incentive to keep the decision makers fearful of every threat in the world, real or imagined, present or future, no matter how ridiculous and far-fetched. The Bush Doctrine demonstrates how very successful the war lobby was philosophically with the last administration. And they are succeeding just as well with this one, in spite of having the so-called “peace candidate” in office.

We now find ourselves in another foreign policy quagmire with little hope of victory, and not even a definition of victory. Eisenhower said that only an alert and informed electorate could keep these war racketeering pressures at bay. He was right, and the key is for the people to ensure that their elected leaders follow the Constitution. The Constitution requires a declaration of war by Congress in order to legitimately go to war. Bypassing this critical step makes it far too easy to waste resources on nebulous and never-ending conflicts. Without clear goals, the conflicts last forever and drain the country of blood and treasure. The drafters of the Constitution gave Congress the power to declare war precisely because they feared allowing the executive unfettered discretion in military affairs. They understood that making it easy for leaders to wage foreign wars would threaten domestic liberties.

Responses to attacks on our soil should be swift and brief. Wars we fight should always be defensive, clearly defined and Constitutional. The Bush Doctrine of targeting potential enemies before they do anything to us is dangerously vague and easily abused. There is nothing left to win in Afghanistan and everything to lose. Today’s military actions are yet another futile exercise in nation building and have nothing to do with our nation’s security, or with 9/11. Most experts agree that Bin Laden and anyone remotely connected to 9/11 left Afghanistan long ago, but our troops remain. The pressures of the war racketeers need to be put in check before we are brought to our knees by them. Unfortunately, it will require a mighty effort by the people to get the leadership to finally listen.

The document-leaking web site Wikileaks announced Tuesday that it would release 500,000 alphanumeric pager messages sent on September 11, 2001.

A notice posted on the site said that Wikileaks would release the pager message intercepts in “real time” beginning at 3 a.m. Eastern time Wednesday and continuing for 24 hours, corresponding to the same time of day on 9/11.

“Text pagers are mostly carried by persons operating in an official capacity,” the site said prior to the release. “Messages in the archive range from Pentagon and New York Police Department exchanges, to computers reporting faults to their operators as the World Trade Center collapsed.”

Wikileaks did not identify its source for the pager messages, but said that it received them from “an organization which has been intercepting and archiving US national telecommunications since prior to 9/11.”

Kevin Poulsen ofWired points out that pager traffic is not encrypted and trivially easy to intercept.

Alphanumeric pagers were popular in the 1990s but have declined in popularity as mobile phone text messages largely supplanted them.

“This is a significant and completely objective record of the defining moment of our time,” the Wikileaks site said. “We hope that its entry into the historical record will lead to a deeper and more nuanced understanding of how this tragedy and its aftermath may have been prevented.”

I was planning to sleep, but I came home tonight to this news and now I’m brewing coffee and preparing to “live” blog the more interesting of these half million intercepts as they are released over the next 24 hours.

2001-09-11 03:01:18 Metrocall [1064386] A ALPHA MONEY MARKETS FF__3.500 PR 6.500 EU$ 3.45/3.40/3.27 LIB 3.50/3.36/3.32 EIB4.301/4.242/114 REP 3.47/3.40/3.36 DCP 3.46/3.33/3.29 UBA 3.41/3.21/3.18 BBA 3.50/3.36/3.32 U

2001-09-11 03:01:48 Metrocall [1064375] B ALPHA /FTSE 5033.70 -036 NIKK 10292.95 +097 DAX 4704.36 +034 CAC40 4415.02 +031 MIB30 31564 +0000 HSI 10348.65 -0017 30 _99.0

2001-09-11 03:03:11 Arch [1617998] D ALPHA smartlady|thinking of you |Hi Gody, Sorry so late, I just replied to your email. Glad to know u r home safely. I miss u... Karen |129

2001-09-11 03:03:11 Arch [0960635] C ALPHA Wendy Javier|Please check queue |Hello there, I am working on a launch. Can you please check the queue? It doesn't look like it's moving... Thanks, Wendy|153

2001-09-11 03:04:50 Skytel [007555619] A ALPHA netrangr@prodrubdir.hew.us.ml.com|Alm: 4 3150:0 1|Tme: 2001/09/11 03:03:26 Src: I tpcb.teleplex.ml.com:3897 Dst: I 216.35.94.76:21 NSX: [10008.12501.41] SID: 3150 "FTP SITE" Msg: "SITE"

2001-09-11 03:05:24 Arch [1164259] A ALPHA From Kristin Allbright Sub:x75245 remedy#10024876 Communications to Puerto Rico buying office were down due to circuit issue. Circuit has recovered. AT&T still engaged to find resolution. Msg:

2001-09-11 03:06:00 Metrocall [1458228] B ALPHA 3000 CHINABERRY DR CAR VS TREE POSS ENTRAPMENT HAMM

2001-09-11 03:07:48 Metrocall [002510081] A ALPHA [McBride, Greg]FW: American Airlines Net SAAver Fares-- Dear Greg McBride, Today's American Airlines Domestic & International Net SAAver Weekend Getaway Fares e-mail offer is valid for travel next weekend. Domestic Departure dates: Sep

2001-09-11 03:08:09 Arch [0915948] D ALPHA From:NJROS1NHA01/SERVER/Prudential@PRUDENTIAL Subject:ServerWatch Notification - Server NJROS1NAP39/SERVER/Prudential is NOT Responding Body:WARNING: Server NJROS1NAP39/SERVER/Prudential is Not Responding. Reason: Remote system no longer r

2001-09-11 03:09:36 Skytel [002839867] C ALPHA 23985@emc.fedex.com|pushback on early departures and chase city aircraft asap...

2001-09-11 03:11:35 Skytel [005207087] D ALPHA FLT1011 APPROX 45 MIN LATE, FLT1153 ETA 0444

2001-09-11 03:13:20 Arch [1614034] A ALPHA From:NJROS1NHA01/SERVER/Prudential@PRUDENTIAL Subject:ServerWatch Notification - Server NJROS1NAP39/SERVER/Prudential is Responding Body:Server NJROS1NAP39/SERVER/Prudential is Responding or has been restarted.

2001-09-11 03:16:35 Skytel [007523119] D ST NUM 0-212-222-9018

2001-09-11 03:18:48 Metrocall [002178488] C ALPHA EMAIL goodtining@www40.net Rates may NEVER be Lower !!

2001-09-11 03:20:36 Skytel [002839867] C ALPHA 23985@emc.fedex.com|attention second floor: please move your exception bags asap

2001-09-11 03:22:44 Skytel [003862901] B ALPHA BTY 50.67 -1.28 NWS 30.81 +0.10 WCOM 12.88 -0.10 DJIA 9654.71 +48.86 (1

2001-09-11 03:26:35 Skytel [005327015] B ALPHA frank,mike can u give me status? is khh on battery or gen? Michael Bishop

2001-09-11 03:29:58 Metrocall [1064378] C ALPHA TRICHET SEES EUROZONE GROWTH OF AROUND 2.0 PCT FOR 2001

So far a quiet night, not much going on except for sysadmins doing their usual nightly maintenance on the servers that keep the Internet and business operations going.

2001-09-11 03:30:44 Skytel [002402427] C ALPHA < <86901:534>>PAC 03:23 9/11/01 FINAL AT&T VANTIVE SYSTEM WENT DOWN. ABLE TO ACCESS WHEN USING URL https://www.acss.att.com/Login. URL IS CASE SENSITVE. SERVER WAS REBOOTED BUT UNSURE IF THIS RESOLVED ISSUE. IMPACT: NO KNOWN. 18028 GMIR/92

2001-09-11 03:33:31 Arch [0801351] B ALPHA (25)06:ABS: Tkt:5002798, Sev:1, Opened, Sname:BNK, CIS Id:195942813, Contact:JOSEPH GANDIA/NOC @ 2122507800 Note:HOST IN NYC BOUNCING\\PWR VRFD\\RECOVER ON OWN\\NO PATTERN\\DLCI 35\\RED ALARMS ON ROUTER\\NO CHANGES\\OK TO TEST\\ROTI PSN2 SHOWS UP,

2001-09-11 03:35:01 Metrocall [1576347] C ALPHA Frm: Swoon Horoscopes Sub: Gemini Daily Horoscope Txt: Dear SWOON user, If you have used the SWOON Personals in the past, we've got some great news: Through an exciting partnership that has blossomed between Match.com and SWOON, Persona

2001-09-11 03:35:20 Metrocall [1064378] C ALPHA EURO PUSHES TO DAY'S HIGHS AGAINST DOLLAR, YEN

2001-09-11 03:35:52 Metrocall [0905692] D ALPHA (1/1) NOVA STC I-295 NB On MD Side Vehicle Accident Right lane Blocked. Event open and Closed shortly after. EOC/KMT. 9/11/01 3:31:15 AM

2001-09-11 03:38:34 Skytel [005105954] A ALPHA CALL MY CELL PHONE INSTEAD OF MY HOUSE PHONE CAUSE I DON'T WANT IT TO RING, AND CRYSTALS BEEN GOING AROUND SAYING STUFF ABOUT YOU AND ME. I LOVE YOU.

2001-09-11 03:39:35 Skytel [005359140] B ALPHA ATTN OUTBOUNDS, EXPECT HEAVY NON-CON PULLS AND FLOWER VOLUME FROM THE NORTHEAST..

2001-09-11 03:40:09 Metrocall [1064381] D ALPHA ICRC SAYS 165 REPORTED DEAD IN JOS, 928 WOUNDED

2001-09-11 03:41:08 Arch [0015079] B ALPHA Tom.Marble@dtn.c|Operations Notification ,|Final Notify: Apwire is once again updating. The problem was with an application in New York. Questions regarding this outage should be directed to x 5467 Thank-you, OPS(Document link: Database 'OPs

2001-09-11 03:44:18 Metrocall [1145662] D ALPHA Frm: StormCenter.COM Sub: Storm Advisory (1/2) Txt: FORECAST FOR For Fairfax County TODAY-SUNNY. HIGHS IN THE LOWER 80S....

2001-09-11 03:44:30 Metrocall [1145662] D ALPHA Frm: StormCenter.COM Sub: Storm Advisory (2/2) Txt: ..NORTHWEST WIND 10 TO 15 MPH.

2001-09-11 03:48:03 Skytel [004690331] C ALPHA netrangr@prodrubdir.hew.us.ml.com|Alm: 4 2153:0 1|Tme: 2001/09/11 03:44:25 Src: I 216.35.60.62:0 Dst: I 216.35.39.152:0 NSX: [10008.17001.41] SID: 2153 "ICMP Smurf attack" Msg: " "

2001-09-11 03:55:32 Metrocall [1064376] C ALPHA GOVPX TREASURY 30__99.03 /05+5.437 10_101.07+/09 4.841 5Y_101.07+/08+4.329 2Y_100.06+/07 3.513 6M 3.110/100 3M 3.167/157

2001-09-11 03:58:57 Skytel [004732386] A ALPHA wn@solutions.att.com|Tkt#0570912-CITICORP|MEXMONT-01-CU-DL3800-E1 up after manual restore-monitoring-GCSC 9194741488

At this time several men of Middle Eastern descent were reportedly seen entering the airport in Portland, Maine, where several 9/11 hijackers will fly to Boston and take a connecting flight, American Airlines flight 11, which they will then hijack.

2001-09-11 04:03:36 Skytel [003273267] A ALPHA julie.rodriguez@fritz.com||We have just been informed that Customs has gone manual as of 2:50am.

2001-09-11 04:04:42 Skytel [004682599] B ALPHA rddoyle@fedex.com| Can't call now, had a emergency landing in PHX. Have fun....I'll miss ya....

2001-09-11 04:06:32 Metrocall [1064381] D ALPHA BRUNEI CUTS AUG SERIA LT CRUDE PRICE TO $25.16/BBL,DOWN $1.17 VS JUL-TRADE

2001-09-11 04:16:44 Skytel [005092733] D ALPHA dss@tcysnp34.travelocity.com|TCYSNP34 Error occurred in cruisedata.csh at Tue Sep 11 03:16:25 CDT 2001|

2001-09-11 04:20:36 Skytel [004697392] A ALPHA ovmail@sexo4066.whq.ual.com||OpenView ITO alert. Node: skypath1.whq.ual.com Msg: Old wind data for Skypath

2001-09-11 04:25:40 Skytel [005107544] C ALPHA OPEN/CLOSE:Link TRGR54A (Tarragona, Spain) --> BLR54A (Bilbao, Spain) is down. TOP:03:21 TOR:03:45. TKT#1484962 -- From: SMT - 248.528.7000

2001-09-11 04:27:55 Skytel [002673372] D ALPHA alert@msn.com||Hotmail MSNBC Sports:msnbc: Jordan all but confirms return to NBA

2001-09-11 04:29:57 Skytel [007509738] C ALPHA alert@msn.com||JDSU 6.19 -0.24 Merrill Lynch - Be Bullish

I need more caffeine. I’m usually going to bed by this time of night. But it’s very difficult to pull myself away from this traffic, mundane as most of it is.

2001-09-11 04:36:04 Arch [1026292] B ALPHA Backup@NYED.usco|Operator Attention|(Server: "NYEPSROGUE" Job: "Monday backup" Device: "HP 1") Please inser t overwritable media into the changer using the slot import command.

2001-09-11 04:37:04 Arch [0983370] C ALPHA "Andrews, Rick" |travelweb|travelweb is back up 01:35

2001-09-11 04:44:49 Arch [0515405] D ALPHA (3)ERIN MOVIN SLOWLY NORTHWARD & CONTINUING TO WEAKEN HURR ERIN NOW @ 37.2 N. LAT 65.9 W. LON MAX WIND ARE NEAR 90 MPH. MOVIN TOWARD THE NORTH NEAR 7 MPH. PRES. IS 976 MB...28.82 IN.

2001-09-11 04:59:45 Arch [1184785] A ALPHA From:PAERSCNHM01/SERVER/Prudential@PRUDENTIAL Subject:ServerWatch Notification - Server PAERSCNML25/SERVER/Prudential is Responding Body:Server PAERSCNML25/SERVER/Prudential is Responding or has been restarted.

By this time practically nothing’s talking except the computers. And the monkey.

2001-09-11 04:59:48 Metrocall [0300391] B ALPHA _01Z00_02A)_1B"n6_1A8_1C3_09Odd_1A5 but _1A8True_1A9_1B&a _1C1MONKEY SIGHTINGS: It's not `Planet of the Apes.' It's more like town of the monkey. About a dozen people in Danville, New Hampshire, report seeing a large monkey on the

2001-09-11 04:59:50 Metrocall [0300391] B ALPHA loose, including Fire Chief David Kimball. He describes the animal as being about four feet tall, with woolly, brown fur. Kimball figures it's an escaped pet, but the owner doesn't want to report it because monkeys are illegal in the state. _0D_1C2TOU

2001-09-11 05:04:23 Arch [0553455] D ALPHA MUHAMMED, MUSTAFAH UNAUTHORIZED RETURN 09/11/2001 4:59AM

2001-09-11 05:07:49 Arch [0944991] D ALPHA PAGE FROM lifeline: alert 8931351 AMDB_FD dba nyfdpsyb01.gsam.gs.com FD_PROD nyfdpsyb01.gsam.gs.com_DBA (FD_PROD): 01-09-11 05:07:19 DBmaint.func_dump: ERROR: Dump for FD_PROD.SMART_data failed

2001-09-11 05:21:38 Skytel [004539594] C ALPHA delay code for flights holding due to late arrival MP. main cargo door broken from 0246 (block in) to 0320 (cargo door open). sort was from 0302 - 0341.

2001-09-11 05:25:17 Arch [1400339] A ALPHA LIRR MVB-AMD,THERE ARE 94 CARS OUT OF SERVICE.. TRAIN 1013 WILL BE RUNNING 2 CARS SHORT..

2001-09-11 05:32:19 Arch [1749363] A ALPHA |P2 NOTICE #4243326 |Etisalat link Dubai to Cairo failed impacting users WAN connectivity. Etisalat contacted Cairo PTT. OUTAGE START: 11 Sep 10:21 CET NO ETU. walho x4112 |172

2001-09-11 05:39:12 Skytel [005524707] A ALPHA PBSS@NA2.US.ML.com|NS MSG: MarginCall has startedStarted Operation: OP7_CMSma...|2001-09-11 05:41 am: MarginCall has startedStarted Operation: OP7_CMSmargincall

2001-09-11 05:39:52 Metrocall [1064381] D ALPHA OPEC CRUDE BASKET EDGED UP TO $25.56 ON MONDAY

2001-09-11 05:47:31 Skytel [005255305] C ALPHA Please join the following bridge for a Netcap PTP link issue. Bridge 888-789-0276 Pin 592965. Thank You Serena/SMC - Serena Doore * wcomnet.com paging

2001-09-11 05:48:36 Arch [0983449] C ALPHA Time to wake up!!

2001-09-11 05:54:41 Metrocall [1543599] D ALPHA Remember morning medication.

As the country wakes up, Mohamed Atta and Abdulaziz Alomari breeze through security and board Colgan Air flight 5930 to Boston, which departs at 6 a.m.

2001-09-11 05:59:36 Skytel [005384638] D ALPHA oracle@hqfas14.desc.dla.mil|Errors found in routine alert file checkup of fest on hqfas14 at 09/11/01 06:00:00. Check /u001/app/oracle/admin/scripts/dba/data/monAlertLogErrors.fest.ERROR_LOG.110901_060000 for error message.|****************

2001-09-11 06:02:41 Metrocall [1064378] C ALPHA GOLD FIXED PRICE LONDON FIX $271.39

2001-09-11 06:05:31 Skytel [007555205] B ALPHA jjlongwell@fedex.com|Numerous calls on service disruption|Please inform; John Longwell 262-1015

2001-09-11 06:12:07 Arch [1274765] D ALPHA 11-THIS IS RORY CONCEPCION. I AM UNABLE TO GO INTO WORK TODAY. WE ARE GOING TO MY AUNT'S !1/2 011

2001-09-11 06:12:09 Arch [1274765] D ALPHA 11- WAKE TODAY AT CHERRY HILL. SHE DIED RECENTLY. !2/2 011

2001-09-11 06:13:41 Metrocall [0639948] D ALPHA Frm: Southwest Airlines Sub: southwest.com Weekly Internet Specials September 11, 2001 Txt: Southwest Airlines e-mail update for September 11, 2001

2001-09-11 06:25:06 Arch [0904389] B ALPHA LIRR MVB-AMD,AT 6:16 ALL DEBRIS REMOVED FROM TRAIN 901. REQUESTING RESTORE POWER.. TRAIN IN PROCESS OF RECEIVING PAPERWORK.

2001-09-11 06:27:40 Skytel [003928287] D ALPHA TOM. THIS IS RAY, MY CONTINENTAL FLIGHT CANCELLED MHT TO EWR. NEXT FLIGHT IS AT 9:40 AM ARRIVING 11 AM. PAGER NUMBER 1 888 935 8317

2001-09-11 06:31:04 Arch [1276083] A ALPHA "NJDOT TOC North|Cave in|Route 1&9 Southbound left lane closed at 86th Street. Northbound all lanes = closed due to cave in. In North Bergen. Duration 4 - 8 hours. Crew 219, = 2006 on scene in construction project. TOC-N FS

2001-09-11 06:31:48 Skytel [003918495] D ALPHA 148411@emc.fedex.com||lets go...traffic on the gw bridge

2001-09-11 06:36:03 Metrocall [1064381] D ALPHA IRAQ SAYS IT SHOOTS DOWN U.S. RECONNAISSANCE PLANE

The five Flight 11 hijackers arrive at Logan Airport in Boston, the two from Portland and three more who drove to the airport. Flight training manuals are later found in the rental car they left behind. The Flight 175 hijackers also start arriving.

2001-09-11 06:47:03 Metrocall [0753507] A ALPHA Bill, check your WTC email for a message regarding Panacea.-Kent(x6137)

2001-09-11 06:56:47 Arch [0912340] B ALPHA Bomb Scare, ND, 700 W. 40TH Male caller stated a bomb in the bldg, set to go of at 0815. 7811 notified.

Flight 93 hijackers begin checking in.

Several hijackers are selected for additional security screening, but this only means that their bags are scanned for explosives and held off the plane until they board. No one had ever anticipated that a hijacker would blow up a plane while still on board.

2001-09-11 07:01:33 Arch [0911009] A ALPHA <opsosf @GlaxoWel|SYSTEM STATUS AS OF 7 AM|GOOD Morning! ALL TASKS THAT SHOULD BE UP NOW ARE UP!

2001-09-11 07:05:22 Metrocall [1064379] C ALPHA LONDON SILVER FIXED AT 418.00 CENTS - SEP 11

2001-09-11 07:06:35 Skytel [003071916] D ALPHA alert@msn.com||Manhattan - Tuesday: Sunny (Clear at night) 80/60*Wednesday: Mostly Sunny 78/60*Thursday: Showers /

OK, I admit defeat. There’s much too much traffic here to read through and post in one sitting. At this rate it will take at least a week just to skim through it all. I’ll continue doing so throughout the holiday and post anything I find of interest.

Update: Declan McCullagh posted a much more interesting report on the contents of the pager traffic. As it turns out, the pager messages had been leaked on a file-sharing site before WikiLeaks could complete their release. I’ll be going through them as time permits over the next few weeks.

The Metropolitan Police of London will compensate the family of Jean Charles de Menezes, who police officers shot and killed in 2005 mistakenly believing he was a suicide bomber.

“The Commissioner of Police of the Metropolis and representatives of the de Menezes family are pleased to announce that all litigation between them arising out of the tragic death of Jean Charles de Menezes has been resolved,” according to a joint statement released Monday.

De Menezes, a Brazilian national working in London as an electrician, was late for work July 22, 2005, and running to catch a train, when armed police officers trained to sneak up on suicide bombers and shoot them in the head with hollow point bullets approached him and shot him seven times. Ironically he was running late because the Tube station nearest his apartment was closed after the previous day’s failed attempt to bomb the Underground and he had to take a bus to another Tube station.

He had been living in the same apartment building as Osman Hussein, one of the suicide bombers from the previous day’s failed bombing. Hussein was later captured in Rome.

When de Menezes left for work that day, surveillance teams, working from a poor quality photo of Hussein, could not be sure of his identity, and firearms officers, meant to stop and identify people leaving the building, had not yet arrived. The surveillance team then followed de Menezes. When the firearms officers caught up with them at the Stockwell Tube station, surveillance officers told them, “That’s him,” a miscommunication which would lead to de Menezes being fatally shot.

Officers had been working under a policy known as Operation Kratos, which essentially amounts to shoot first, ask questions later. Under this policy, armed police can immediately open fire once they have positively identified a suicide bomber. No significant change has been made to the policy, though police officers now receive more training and better communications equipment.

In 2006, the Independent Police Complaints Commission decided that the officers in the shooting would not face criminal charges.

And in a 2008 inquest into the shooting, the jury returned an open verdict, saying they did not believe the version of events given by police. Among other things, police and eyewitnesses on the train disagreed about whether police officers identified themselves before the shooting. The coroner had instructed the jury that they could not bring a verdict of unlawful killing.

“The members of the family are pleased that a compensation package has been agreed which enables them to put these events behind them and move forward with their lives,” the statement said. The compensation amount has not been disclosed.

“The Commissioner would like to take this opportunity of making a further unreserved apology to the family for the tragic death of Jean Charles de Menezes and to reiterate that he was a totally innocent victim and in no way to blame for his untimely death.”

(HT: Schneier the Security Rock Star, again)

If only the terrorists were this easy to find.

Hard to believe somebody actually was dumb enough to walk out in public with this T-shirt on.

I’ve been looking around the Internet to find someplace to buy this T-shirt, but I’ve come up empty. Anyone seen this before?

The closest I’ve been able to come is this.

Anonymous photographer; courtesy FAIL Blog

For less than $150 you can buy all the parts necessary to construct an improvised explosive device that can be carried undetected into virtually any federal building in the country, thanks in large part to security weaknesses with the Federal Protective Service, the agency charged with protecting those buildings.

So said the Government Accountability Office, which released preliminary findings Wednesday in testimony to the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee. And being able to sneak in bombs was only the beginning of the problems GAO found.

GAO investigators were able to carry the disassembled IED into all ten of the high security federal buildings where they conducted covert testing, assembling the devices in the nearest restroom once inside, and were then able to walk around the buildings freely, including into the offices of a U.S. Representative and Senator.

The IED was of the same design GAO used in 2007 to penetrate security at 19 different airports. As with the federal building tests, TSA screeners never detected any of the bomb components.

Along with its testimony, GAO released a video showing one of its investigators entering a federal building, along with the IEDs being detonated at a test site.

Bomb experts say there is not that much that can be done today to detect explosive devices of this type.

Again, “while better training will help — if screeners know the types of liquid IED components and materials to look for — that will help, but the only definitive way of detecting liquid explosives is the detection equipment that’s been designed to spot these types of explosives,” a bomb authority at the Department of Homeland Security toldHSToday.us.

Training obviously needs to be improved, the official said, but in order to stay “on top” of terrorists’ ability to change their bomb-making designs, FPS screeners also will need to have a program that provides for a steady stream of threat analysis intelligence and information made available to them at all times.

“Otherwise, as we’ve found at airports, liquid explosives are going to be sneaked past screeners,” the official said. “The alternative is installation of liquid explosives detection equipment, but they cost money.” — Homeland Security Today

GAO’s testimony identified further problems with the Federal Protective Service’s use of 13,000 contract guards to protect most federal buildings. The majority of contract guards’ training and certifications had lapsed or was not documented, GAO said, and in one case a contractor was caught taking bribes to falsify the certifications.

GAO also noted that FPS conducted inspections inconsistently, and rarely on nights and weekends. When it has conducted inspections, it found guards not complying with post orders. One FPS guard was caught sleeping at his post after taking the prescription painkiller Percocet. Another night guard was illegally using government computers to manage his own for-profit adult website.

It just keeps getting better. One FPS guard attached an unapproved motion sensor outside the garage he was supposed to be guarding to alert him whenever somebody was coming toward his post. Another accidentally fired his sidearm while practicing drawing it in the restroom. Apparently he’d never heard of firing ranges or gun safety training.

In yet another incident, a baby was accidentally x-rayed when the guard left the x-ray machine and a safety feature of the x-ray machine, to prevent the conveyor belt from running while the guard was not present, had been disabled. The guard was fired, but it’s not known whether the x-ray machine was fixed.

FPS has also conducted its own internal testing, GAO noted, with less than flattering results. In one such test, a fake bomb was brought into an FPS loading dock. The fake bomb was then somehow misplaced. A guard then picked it up and took it to the mail room, opened it, and panicked when he saw the fake bomb. Intrusion testing in that region was canceled after that incident.

“FPS has recently taken some actions including increasing the frequency of intrusion testing and guard inspections,” the testimony noted. “However, implementing these changes may be challenging, according to FPS.”

“In this post-9/11 world that we’re now living in, I cannot fathom how security breaches of this magnitude were allowed to occur,” said Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, ranking member of the committee.

Chairman Sen. Joseph Lieberman, I-Conn., said that in all his years of reading GAO reports, this one represented “about the broadest indictment of an agency in the federal government I’ve heard.” — Government Executive

Government Executive also notes that Congress did not want to wait for GAO’s full report, due in September, before taking action, and urged FPS director Gary Schenkel to ask Congress for whatever it needs to remedy the problems.

Congress is also considering moving FPS from within Immigration and Customs Enforcement to the National Protection and Programs Directorate, which most observers say is a much better fit for the agency.

Did you buy extra ammunition after Barack Obama was elected President, and are you still concerned that he might ban your guns? Are you concerned that the economic crisis could devolve into a depression, or worse? Do you think the federal government has overstepped its authority under the Constitution? If so, the government thinks you’re a right-wing extremist and a potential terrorist threat.

Last week the Department of Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis published an “analysis” of “right-wing extremists” in the United States in which it claims, quite vaguely, that: “Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration.”

Naturally the document was leaked and has provoked a firestorm of controversy, with conservatives saying it unfairly paints their viewpoints as extremist. You’ll have to read it for yourself to see how far it goes in demonizing anyone who believes in individual rights and limited government. But here’s a sample:

(U//FOUO) Rightwing extremist chatter on the Internet continues to focus on the economy, the perceived loss of U.S. jobs in the manufacturing and construction sectors, and home foreclosures. Anti-Semitic extremists attribute these losses to a deliberate conspiracy conducted by a cabal of Jewish “financial elites.” These “accusatory” tactics are employed to draw new recruits into rightwing extremist groups and further radicalize those already subscribing to extremist beliefs. DHS/I&A assesses this trend is likely to accelerate if the economy is perceived to worsen. . . .

(U//FOUO) Historically, domestic rightwing extremists have feared, predicted, and anticipated a cataclysmic economic collapse in the United States. Prominent antigovernment conspiracy theorists have incorporated aspects of an impending economic collapse to intensify fear and paranoia among like-minded individuals and to attract recruits during times of economic uncertainty. Conspiracy theories involving declarations of martial law, impending civil strife or racial conflict, suspension of the U.S. Constitution, and the creation of citizen detention camps often incorporate aspects of a failed economy. Antigovernment conspiracy theories and “end times” prophecies could motivate extremist individuals and groups to stockpile food, ammunition, and weapons. . . .

(U//FOUO) DHS/I&A assesses that rightwing extremists will attempt to recruit and radicalize returning veterans in order to exploit their skills and knowledge derived from military training and combat. These skills and knowledge have the potential to boost the capabilities of extremists — including lone wolves or small terrorist cells — to carry out violence. The willingness of a small percentage of military personnel to join extremist groups during the 1990s because they were disgruntled, disillusioned, or suffering from the psychological effects of war is being replicated today.

That’s just the beginning.

Interestingly, the report draws a distinction between “right-wing extremists” and “law-abiding citizens,” as if good, honest, moral people could not possibly hold any of these viewpoints.

A DHS spokesman told FOX News that nothing was wrong with this assessment, citing a January assessment of left-wing extremists the department also issued.

DHS spokeswoman Sara Kuban said the April 7 assessment is one in an ongoing series published by DHS “to facilitate a greater understanding of radicalization in the United States.”

“DHS has no specific information that domestic right-wing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence, but right-wing extremists may be gaining new recruitments by playing on their fears about several emerging issues,” Kuban said. . . .

“This is the job of DHS, to assess what is happening in this country, with regard to homegrown terrorism, and determine whether it’s an actual threat or not, and that’s what these assessments do. This is nothing unusual. These assessments are done all the time. This is about awareness,” the official told FOX News on Monday. — FOX News

You might be tempted to believe that if you hadn’t actually seen the left-wing extremist assessment, so I invite you to read it for yourself and contrast it to the right-wing extremist document. It’s much more clear about its definition of left-wing extremists and even gives examples of organizations it considers to be left-wing extremists (and they’re quite difficult to argue with, unfortunately for my more liberal readers).

As you’ll see, the left-wing document is narrowly focused on specific groups and activities while the right-wing document covers almost any belief to the right of, well, Barack Obama. It names no organizations as examples, and as one commentator pointed out, doesn’t even say there’s an actual threat! You right-wing extremist loonies are just a potential threat to the nation, and so the government is going to have to keep an eye on you.

This report smacks of profiling and harassing American citizens based on their political views, and specifically based on their opposition to the Obama administration’s proposals.

This used to be called “democracy” and “free speech” protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. But under Obama, “Homeland Security” has become an instrument of oppression of opposing points of view. — WorldNetDaily

Oh, Bush would have done the same thing if he thought he could get away with it. Let’s not pretend this is a purely Democratic problem. The problem is that the institution of government allows people who disagree with each other to beat each other over the head with the world’s largest hammer, and whoever is out of power must suffer at the hands of whoever is in power. That whoever is in power can be changed every couple of years makes it no less of a problem; it just means that everyone gets a chance to wield the hammer, and to be hit by it, in turn.

Oops, that’s an antigovernment sentiment. I must be a right-wing extremist.

It’s that time again, time for outgoing government bureaucrats to make room for fresh new faces and to say goodbye. Today, outgoing Homeland Security secretary Michael Chertoff said goodbye to the country in a video. Of course, the government can’t seem to do anything right, and now we can add making simple videos to that list.

“I’m here at the Freedom Center, one of the many facilities created after the Sept. 11th attacks to protect our country from terrorist threats and to improve coordination during major disasters and emergencies,” Chertoff says to introduce himself. “In this case, threats to our aviation system.”

Formerly known as the Transportation Security Operations Center, it was renamed last year to the Freedom Center. The operations center is responsible for virtually all of the Transportation Security Administration’s day to day activities, including preventing infants and Congressmen from boarding planes and responding to other threats to aviation security.

You may as well just watch the video. I’ll warn you now, it’s rather poor quality. It’s not YouTube’s fault; this is how it was received from DHS. Apparently even Windows Movie Maker is beyond them.

Someone get this man a glass of water!

Chertoff says we are “far better protected and far better equipped to deal with 21st-century threats” than before the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Of course this says absolutely nothing about whether the American people are actually any safer, and it can be argued that we are not.

“We’ve completely overhauled our aviation security system,” Chertoff reminds us, as if we hadn’t noticed. “Today, more than 20 layers of security protect air travelers, from hardened cockpit doors and Federal Air Marshals to 100 percent screening of passengers and bags.”

Which of those layers of security actually works? Fake boarding passes, guns and bombs — real ones — getting onto planes, rigged internal tests, and more show that aviation security remains as fragile as ever. Your kids could probably hijack a plane, if it ever entered their mind.

And then there’s the border. Chertoff boasts about the hundreds of miles of new border fencing, a few spots of which he welded himself as a publicity stunt, the new surveillance technology, thousands of new Border Patrol agents, and hundreds of thousands deported. Yet the border remains porous since it’s easy enough to go over, under, through — or most frequently, around — the few spots where fences exist. And it’s easy enough for at least some people to evade thousands of Border Patrol agents, too.

Not to mention what is bound to happen when illegal immigrants build sections of the fence.

“There’s a transformation taking place in border towns and communities that were once plagued by drug smuggling and overrun with illegal immigrants,” Chertoff says. The transformation, of course, is that different border towns and communities are now overrun with illegal immigrants. Sort of.

It seems that over the last year, fewer people have been immigrating to the U.S. illegally. “This is a direct result of heightened security and enforcement,” according to Chertoff. According to the illegal immigrants, it’s a direct result of the U.S. economy going straight to hell. With so many people out of work, we need those jobs to go to Americans, right?

“We’ve cracked down on employers who blatantly violate immigration laws,” Chertoff says, “while giving businesses better tools, like E-Verify, to maintain a legal workforce.” After all, those millions of people in Michigan who need a job are going to travel halfway across the country to work in a meat packing plant, right? Somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Of course, to ensure the workforce is legal, the workforce has to be identified. “We’ve implemented new standards for secure driver’s licenses across the United States to prevent the use of fraudulent or stolen documents,” Chertoff says. That’s the much-maligned REAL ID Act.

Nobody is required by law to have an ID in this country. Unless they want to do things like open a bank account, or get a job, or travel. It’s a distinction without a difference, since virtually everyone is thereby forced to carry their papers just to live from day to day, and in most circumstances, forced to show them on demand. And the requirement to show your ID at the airport doesn’t even make you any safer. Chertoff even admitted as much.

Chertoff goes on to mention new regulations on chemical facilities and transportation of chemicals by rail, as well as deployment of “early-warning surveillance systems to 30 major metropolitan areas under our BioWatch program” to warn of a biological attack. In 2005, those sensors went off in Washington, D.C., right in the middle of an anti-war protest. It appears to have been a malfunction.

“Finally,” Chertoff saves the best for last, “we’ve integrated lessons from Hurricane Katrina and other disasters to ensure the federal government is fully prepared to support our state and local partners and the American people during a major disaster.” Chertoff says he’s given FEMA more power, improved emergency communications somewhat, and improved coordination with other government agencies and the private sector. It remains to be seen what the results will be, but if you’re in an area that has natural disasters, I wouldn’t place my bets on the government being there to save you. Government is, after all, the world’s largest man-made disaster.

Chertoff is clearly proud of what his department has accomplished over the four years he has been at its head. He’s managed to spend countless billions of dollars creating and growing a bureaucracy the sole purpose of which is to take Americans’ essential liberties and trade them in for a false sense of security, all the while maintaining almost the lowest morale of any government agency through poor — or nonexistent — management.

To give credit where credit is due, Homeland Security actually has managed to do some things right. I just can’t think of what they are right now.

Remember “change we can believe in”? How about “the straight talk express”? The first is the mantra of believers in Barack Obama, the second was John McCain’s war wagon during his 2000 primary fight for the Republican nomination. Though Dubya ultimately prevailed, McCain’s image as political brave heart got a righteous polishing. Even after he became Dubya’s liege the image didn’t completely lose its luster. As for Obama, his jousts with Bill and Hill of The Infernal Machine won huzzahs in independent circles. But those were the days of yore — this is now.

Evil omens re the economy hath melded Obama and McCain into one man, living in the cramped quarters of one craven political soul. Something/someone has to give. President-wannabe Obama McCain steps forth to issue a decree. Let the bailouts begin! Up the oligarchy! State capitalism we are here!

Here’s another kicker for the serfs. There aren’t any third party candidates with enough traction to act as vehicle for a meaningful protest vote. Obama has sucked the air out of the progressive room and Ron Paul’s eclectic libertarian revolution didn’t find credible expression in plodding Bob Barr. Traditional conservatives console themselves with Sarah Palin. But incendiary Sarah is a loyal second banana. Her banner may lead in the future but that will be then — this is now. The now of a massive expansion and realignment of government and equally massive new tax burdens for “Average Americans.” The “folks” Obama McCain invokes when denouncing the greedy lenders and Wall Street gamblers he rewarded by supporting — nay pushing — Dubya’s Big Bailout. This is also the now of Lord Henry Paulson and his mini-me Neel Kashkari. Goldman Sachs-R-Us! The now of a Democrat controlled Congress that hasn’t yet held a single hearing on Kashkari’s qualifications to be Bailout Czar and that folded like a poop suit when threatened by a failed Republican president and his discredited financial clackers.

But hey — there will be no exiles on Main Street. Obama McCain (aka OM) plans to rescue Average Americans too. Inside OM’s crowded skull the formerly separate candidates disagree re the details of the rescue. This makes for the kind of schizo public monologues most often heard on park benches and street corners. Though both halves of OM agree government (taxpayers) will foot the bill, they clash over how the cash will be culled and dispersed. Each side accuses the other of wanting to screw Average Americans. (Even though both of OM’s wives are lookers.) Sometimes OM seems ready to strangle himself. No doubt one half of OM, like Psycho’s Mom, will finally prevail.

The succor of Average Americans, under one persona or the other of President OM, will focus on Keeping Americans In Their Homes, Saving The Housing Market, and Supporting Business on Main Street. Possible scenarios include:

A) You give government most of your income. Government gives you back your 40 acres (metaphorically speaking) with a cut rate FHA-backed mortgage, plus the aging mule that your bank, thanks to a wad from Hank Paulson, has agreed not to repo. Your ownership of the 40 acres is administered by a new organ o’ HUD, with assistance from local non-profits with social justice missions. Helping you vote is one of the missions. Financial benefits from improvements in your property or from its resale go back to the government. If you don’t move for a decade or so (remember the importance of Keeping Americans In Their Homes) you get a cut. If the mule dies, recycled bikes will be available. As will vouchers for the vastly improved mass transit system due to be built any day now.

B) The Wal-Mart and McDonalds that got tax breaks to hang on Main Street need another stimulus injection. The government returns a tiny part of your income. You spend it on Wally & Mick. The nationalized stock market “soars” for 15 minutes and President OM gets a bump in his poll numbers. This helps him sell Congress on his plan to rescue the American Dream of Unaffordable Home Ownership.

C) In order to put a floor under housing prices and keep homebuyers dependent on government assistance and HUD oversight, and in response to pressure by the Nationalized Association of Realtors (NAR), President OM launches the American Dream Rescue Initiative. Comprehensive immigration reform is in the plan (the NAR coins the slogan Open Borders Mean No Open Houses) as is a more controversial proposal for controlled burns of large swaths of existing homes. Concern in Congress that Average Americans might be barbecued by accident is assuaged when President OM adds a proviso for the creation of a new Homeland Security organ that will “keep Americans safe from any wild-fires resulting from controlled burns of excess housing inventory.” Reps immediately start jockeying for the Homeland Security pork, claiming their districts are chock-a-bloc with too many homes. However, the U.S. Conference of Mayors urges the burns be confined to suburbs, in order to encourage urban revitalization.

D) The American Dream Rescue also contains a declaration that renters who have no interest in owning property are Enemies Of The State. Re-education camps to be established under the aegis of Homeland Security, HUD, and the NAR.

Ha ha very funny sez you. But until recently the idea that taxpayers would be tapped to back trillions in various forms of privately incurred debt, on which the level of rottenness is yet to be established, and that Congress, after a few days of panicked palaver, would do a cob job renovation of our financial and political system, would have seemed zany too. As would have the thought that the presidential candidates representing our two major parties would be of one mind and hop on the haywain post-haste.

Tis a mad mad mad new world. And Obama McCain is the man of our hour.

Carola Von Hoffmannstahl-Solomonoff
Mondo QT

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